The Worst Job in Silicon Valley Has Nothing to Do With Tech

You definitely don't have what it takes to be a Silicon Valley nanny

silicon valley nanny
More than just glorified babysitting, that's for sure.

The internet has found the most grueling job in Silicon Valley, and it has nothing to do with tech.

That distinction belongs to the nanny position outlined in a now viral job post listed on Google’s job search platform. Per SF Gate, a single mom entrepreneur in Silicon Valley is seeking a nanny for her twin 10-year-olds, and to say the job requirements are lengthy and demanding is an understatement.

The elaborate, 1,000+ word post makes it clear that this employer is seeking more than just a little help around the house. The successful candidate will need to be an accomplished tutor able to “assist 10-year old’s [sic] with light homework in long division, subtraction and writing,” and willing to “play math games with them.”

Sound easy enough? The new nanny will also need to plan and organize travel for the family: “Conduct research into domestic and global vacation options based on criteria, populate information into a simple Excel spreadsheet, recommend and book vacations, track vacation expenses in Excel including track vacation home deposits getting returned.”

The new hire also needs to be an accomplished cook capable of crafting cuisine for a family with various food allergies, a taste for vegan dishes, and strong opinions about beef and breast cancer (??). According to the listing, the candidate should “conduct research into vegan recipes and make modifications to regular recipes.” The successful candidate must also be “able to learn about using alternatives to milk and butter,” and willing to “read articles about eating beef and increases in breast cancer and can understand this information at a summary level, i.e., beef is bad, fish and vegetables are good.”

There are also various managerial demands, from handling household finances to the ability to “lead, supervise and support members of the household staff who have varying degrees of education, experience and maturity.”

Oh, and the successful candidate should also be a swimmer, a biker, a mountain hiker, an intermediate skier and a skilled driver able to navigate inclement weather and, ideally, other countries.

The idea that anyone would expect all this of another person is clearly absurd, but the possibility that any such person actually exists is infinitely more terrifying.

Uncanny Valley, indeed.

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