Men are capable of doing a lot of cringey things that us women are pretty put-off by. They’re not asking women questions about themselves on dates, they won’t leave us alone at the gym, but the mannerism that I’m most uncomfortable with? Hearing them refer to groups of women as “females.”
There are, unsurprisingly, many men who don’t understand why women don’t like this.
And I am, clearly, not the only one who feels this way!
“Women” vs “Female”
To put it simply: “Woman” is a noun, while “female” is an adjective. Point obvious, this is the same for men (noun) and male (adjective). When speaking in a sentence, you wouldn’t say “the woman dog.” You’d say “the female dog,” using it as a descriptor. “Woman,” at its definition, is specifically described as “an adult female person,” while “female” is more of a scientific term, “of, relating to, or being the sex that typically has the capacity to bear young or produce eggs,” per Merriam Webster.
The key difference here? The word “women” literally references specific people, whereas females can be used for other organisms, like animals — see my example above. So when you say “females,” it usually precedes a noun. To use the word on its own, it sounds grammatically wrong, and you lack any actual specification. Example: “Why do females always act like that?” Female what?
Sure, there are some instances where you may hear it as a noun. Think of a National Geographic segment on different animals with a voiceover narration. While showing a clip of, say, a spider making a web, an accompanying line may be “The female spins her web.” But that example is what makes the phrasing so demeaning to women: It reduces us to being a “species.”
So Why Can’t I Say It?
Well, there are several reasons, if you still don’t understand why women wouldn’t like to be referred to this way. Simply put: It’s derogatory. To be reduced to a term solely based on the ability to bear children is insulting. It’s objectifying, and it generalizes women in a way that strips them of any humanity. It lacks any acknowledgement that we, you and I — female and male — are on the same totem pole.
You’ve revealed how you truly perceive women around you — and the other choice words you probably use to talk about them. I’d honestly rather be referred to as some of those words because they’re at least actual insults and not a reconfiguration of a biological term. I’ve never seen “females” used by a man in a way that wasn’t inherently misogynistic toward women, and again, I’m certainly not the only. “Females are the best,” said literally by no man ever.
You might also be the kind of guy who uses phrases like “you’re not like the other girls” when talking to other women, implying that a woman is a stand-out because she’s not like other ones you’ve met in your life. It’s a similar kind of misogynistic, generalized statement about women, and a lot of women actually have a problem with men saying this. At the root of it, what are you saying here? Every other woman is the problem, which is clearly the problem. You have preconceived assumptions about women: how we act, what we like, what we dislike. It’s textbook misogyny, and it pairs perfectly with some of my favorite advice: If everyone else around you is the problem, then you’re the actual problem.
“You’re not like those females.” Food for thought: You’ve probably never heard women refer to men as “males” like this, have you?
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