Board Meeting

By The Editors
February 20, 2014 9:00 am

Gowanus has its charms.

But, as with Chuck E. Cheese’s or the DMV, you need a pretty damn compelling reason to go there.

Gentlemen, we now have that reason. The reason is shuffleboard.

Introducing Royal Palms, a sprawling, Miami-inspired Mecca of puck-gliding finally open for your casual sporting pleasure.

This is your new spot for date night (or group date night), regardless your age or spousal situation.

Upon entering this cavernous tropical Shangri-La, you put your name in for one of Royal Palms’ ten courts, grab a cocktail (we suggest the “Shuffleboard Bob”) and perhaps a bite from the rotating cast of indoor food trucks (Mexicue, Morris Grilled Cheese et al.).

Then you shuffle. With gusto. Things to note:

First, that stick you’re holding? It’s called a tang. The puck is a biscuit.

The 10 OFF section of the scoring triangle is known as “The Kitchen,” where you lose ten points. Keep your biscuits out of it.

The line between the 7s and 10 OFF is “The Fence.” Keep your biscuits off of it, lest a savvy opponent knock them into the kitchen. (May we suggest you read the complete set of rules.)

Aside from that, your only worry is what old soul 45 the DJ is gonna play next.

Sounds compelling enough to us.


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