Rosemary’s Baby

Limp and flavorless is no way to go through life, my dude.

Here to save your taste buds from the boring: Chi-based TongueSpank’s boozy, sinus-clearing table spices, available now.

Hot on the heels of a successful Kickstarter, TongueSpank crafts flavor-trippy seasonings by soaking pepper and herb blends with small-batch spirits.

The result: a dry hot sauce with the pungent aroma of liquor, sans the alcohol.

Our favorites:

The Smoky Bourbon, made with Koval bourbon. Great on eggs.
The Citrus Rum, for when you want to get tropical.
And the Scorpion Bourbon, made with Trinidad Moruga Scorpions — one of the hottest pepps in the world (two million Scovilles!).

TongueSpank is shipping now. If you’re curious, they’re offering a 4-pack sampler.

Or for those who can handle the heat, there’s the Complete Collection.

Gird thy buds.