Sex & Dating | December 3, 2021 7:15 am

Take It From a Woman: You Don’t Need a Special Occasion to Send Her Flowers

You should probably be sending more flowers, and no, you don't have to wait till your anniversary

Man is holding flowers behind his back and waiting for his girlfriend, cropped
Men, you should be sending more flowers.
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I was pleasantly surprised yesterday at work when a phone call from an unknown number I ignored three times because I assumed it was my doctor and I clearly do not value my health actually turned out to be a flower delivery from my boyfriend. When I returned to my desk with two-dozen long-stemmed red roses in tow, everyone wanted to know what the occasion was. The answer? There wasn’t one. 

In the interest of full transparency, it was technically our six-month anniversary, but that isn’t a thing outside of high school. Moreover, this was far from the first time in the past six months that two or more dozen flowers have shown up at the office, in hotel rooms or, as my roommate will attest with only a slight eye-roll, my apartment. In total, my boyfriend estimates that we’re approaching somewhere around 100 dozen roses as of the six-month mark. I’m no expert, but the ever-expanding collection of empty vases gradually taking over my apartment seems to support that estimate.

I can acknowledge that I am unreasonably, even obscenely spoiled in the floral department. As my sister put it months (and several dozen roses) ago, I’ve received more flowers this year than most women do in their entire lives. While I’m definitely a bit of a show-off who admittedly doesn’t mind feeling more loved than other women, I do wish the discrepancy weren’t so vast. I’m not saying you need to be sending roses at this volume and frequency — both my boyfriend and I are aware that it’s more than extravagant, and at this point it’s more of a running gag than anything — but the vast majority of men could probably stand to be sending flowers to the women in their lives a little more often.

Why? Because women like getting flowers. I obviously cannot speak for all women, and I am aware that there are definitely some out there who genuinely do not want to be sent flowers. But generally speaking, unless your girlfriend has explicitly told you that she hates flowers and does not want to be gifted them under any circumstances, there’s a good chance that she might appreciate a bouquet here and there. 

Yes, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries and birthdays are a good place to start, but you don’t have to sit around and wait for a special, Hallmark-designated flower-giving occasion. In fact, some might argue that the best reason to send flowers is no reason at all. As many women would agree, the best kind of gift is a “just because” gift. It’s a reminder that you’re thinking of her, that you care about her, and that you appreciate her. Whether you’ve been together for six months or six years, that’s rarely an unwelcome reminder. 

Not to mention, women like feeling special, and by feeling special, I mean we like flexing on other women. Yes, flowers are appreciated all the time, and she definitely doesn’t want to be the only one in her friend group not posting a bouquet of roses on Valentine’s Day. But you know what will make her feel even more special? Posting another bouquet on some random Tuesday when none of her friends are. (By the way, delivery fees are often significantly lower on non-holidays. You’re welcome.)

Flowers are generally a pretty easy, relatively inexpensive way to show the lady in your life you care, and to give her an opportunity to show off to her friends — which, yes, even the most humble women among us want to do from time to time. Giving a woman flowers is a win-win; it makes her happy, and it makes you look good. 

Still not convinced? Well, for you die-hard flower skeptics out there, I’ve outlined a few reasons you may not want to buy flowers for the woman in your life, and a few reasons why you should just suck it up do it anyway. 

Flowers are cliché

You say cliché, I say classic. Yes, I’m definitely a woman who likes an old-school romantic gesture, and there are certainly some women who don’t share those proclivities. But generally speaking, things get to be “cliché” for a reason, and that reason is because they are good. Don’t deny the woman in your life something she would enjoy because you think you’re too cool. I promise you no one cares how cool you are, least of all your girlfriend who just wants you to send her some flowers.

Flowers are expensive 

Yes, massive, long-stemmed bouquets coupled with often exorbitant delivery fees will get pricey fast, but flowers certainly don’t have to break the bank. An oft-recycled tweet usually featuring a photo of inexpensive bouquets for sale at a grocery store or bodega reminds men that it “only takes $6 to make your girl’s day,” and a single red rose is often considered more romantic than a lavish bouquet. 

Clearly, I’m a girl who loves extravagance, but the vast majority of women won’t care if you send four-dozen roses or show up at her door with a small bouquet of bodega flowers. It really, honestly, is the thought that counts in this case — especially if the woman in your life isn’t generally accustomed to getting any flowers at all (no judgment). 

We’ve been together for a really long time and I’ve never given her flowers and I feel like it would be weird to start now 

All the more reason to step up your game. You’ve clearly got a lot of catching up to do. Better late than never. If she thinks it’s weird, that’s a sign that you have failed as a partner and turned the woman in your life into a shell of her former self who has forgotten what it feels like to be appreciated. Better fix that.

I don’t like flowers

This … isn’t about you? It literally does not matter at all if you don’t like flowers or you think they smell like funeral homes or something. If your lady likes flowers, get her some damn flowers.

If you ask me, there are pretty much only good reasons to send a woman flowers and bad reasons not to. So just send the girl some flowers for god’s sake. Don’t wait till Valentine’s Day, just do it. Do it right now. You can thank me later, preferably with a long-stemmed bouquet.

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