Scheduled Sex Might Be Better for Relationships Than Spontaneous Sex, Study Suggests
Are you free next Wednesday?'
This one goes out to the guy currently on HotelTonight booking a skyline suite with rose petals and a champagne bucket …
Might want to backpocket Operation Sweep ‘Em Off Their Feet for a time when both you and your significant other know it’s coming.
According to a recent study published by the Journal of Sex Research, relationships stand to benefit from sexual intimacy that’s predicated on schedule and routine. The study surveyed 1,000 German couples on their sexual shortcomings (erectile dysfunction, difficulty achieving orgasm) and cross-referenced that information with self- and partner-reported character traits from a list that included “extraversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, conscientiousness, and openness.”
The findings? Conscientious couples are having some good sex. Defined by the authors of the study as “careful, thorough, dutiful, and having the desire to do a task well” — you know, your obsessive email deleters, the buy a calendar and actually remember to flip the month-ers — conscientious individuals are likely to schedule sex, and prioritize it, for the sake of the commitment itself.
While counterintuitive to the tenets of spill-your-heart rom coms, it’s not a bad practice for the non-conscientious folks out there to consider. Not everything that’s “scheduled” each day must be mundane (see: long showers, your hour of Netflix), just as not all sex must be mind-blowing. It’s the difference between a Roman candle and a pillar candle. One’s out with a bang before you can process it; the other takes its time, hopefully hanging around long enough to burn alongside those moments you won’t forget.