There’s a great John Mulaney riff on the relief that adults derive from a free weekend: “If you ever ask them what they did over the weekend, and they say they didn’t do anything, their faces light up. ‘I, um…I did nothing! I did nothing at all!’”
Too often, those two precious days at the end of each week are pre-populated with mentally taxing obligations — youth soccer tournaments three towns away, luncheons with opinionated in-laws or (god forbid) more hours spent toiling away at your so-called 9 to 5.
Sure, it’s healthy to keep busy, but it’s also important to protect and cherish your downtime. With a majority of American employees now identifying as “burned out,” we are working way too hard to not have a legitimate exhale waiting for us on Friday around five. (Unsurprisingly, research confirms that the psychological detachment fostered during “nonwork time” is vital for well-being.)
The only problem here? Workers most in need of a recharge are the least likely to get it. This concept is called the “recovery paradox.”
Untangling the Recovery Paradox
If you’re in a high-stress occupation that requires a ton of brainpower, your brain isn’t really turning off when you close the laptop each evening. And that’s if you’re even closing it — after-hours emailing has run rampant in the years since COVID.
The recovery paradox typically preys on people who must consistently meet deadlines; feign cheeriness or care for clients, patients or students; or be exceedingly creative, day in and day out, no matter how little inspiration they may have woken up with. The burden of these tasks and expectations is then lugged into the weekend, which, over time, loses its supposedly sacrosanct R&R charter.
To be fair, having things to do on the weekend is part of being an adult. But don’t those commitments start to feel pretty onerous when you’re out of shape, under-rested and always on the clock?
Relaxation and Mastery
A number of European countries have been piloting successful four-day workweeks over the last few years. The concept is yet to take off here. For the moment, we’ve got to make some use of the free days we do have. Within the context of your nonwork responsibilities, how can you protect a reliable recharge each Saturday and Sunday?
Researchers are supportive of two approaches: relaxation and mastery. The former champions low-stakes, lightweight activities that get you on your feet or out of your head (reading, walking, sitting by a pool). The latter advocates for chewing on a new skill or hobby or concentration, ideally one that has very little to do with your workplace. Whatever you choose, just make sure it’s something you actually want to do.
Obviously, there’s also free time to be had on weekdays and weeknights, and finding some distance from work during those hours is critical, too. Think short workouts, podcast commutes, group-chat banter, home-cooked dinners, ice cream walks. It all counts. Complain about your boss all you want during work hours. But you’re the boss of your own free time. Fill it intentionally and you’ll have more energy and inspiration over the long arc of your life.
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