Boo York

Recently your correspondent was discussing haunted houses with a female acquaintance.

“Why the hell would I visit a haunted house?” she said. “I live in New York City. This place is already f*cking terrifying.”

Exactly.

Introducing NIGHTMARE: NEW YORK, a just-opened frightfest based on “the legendary horror stories and urban legends of NYC’s history,” now selling tickets.

Subway alligators.

Giant rats.

Subway cars filled with knife-wielding hoodlums.

To achieve this level of gory verisimilitude, NIGHTMARE employs almost 40 actors, who “have worked long and hard to create the most horrifying experience possible. This isn’t a theme park ride.”

Not surprisingly, kids are not allowed.

The especially bold can also elect to be marked with an X on the forehead, letting the cast know to turn it up a notch.

Should be at least as terrifying as a fifth-floor walkup.

Danny Agnew

Danny Agnew is InsideHook’s former Creative Director, who occasionally chimes in on matters of style, pop culture and action sports. He is a graduate of the University of Southern California School of Cinema/Television and too afraid to ask his parents if they paid to get him in. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @regalkillz.