The 6 Best Canned Cocktails: Whiskey, Vodka and Moonshine

This is just one installment of 37 Things a Man’s Gotta Do This Summer, our annual compendium of everything worth seeing, doing, eating, drinking and generally making time for in your neck of the woods between now and September.

A summer drink needs to be two things: potable and portable.

Beer and wine were made to move about. Spirits, too, if you like ‘em neat.

But cocktails? Thanks to excessive regulations and taxation, distillers have been loath to seal up a potent mixed drink in an on-the-go container.

Until now.

Herein, the six best canned cocktails for summer, including a whiskey/vodka lemonade that doubles as a mixer, an 84-proof rye tipple, and delicious moonshine lurking in a Varvatos-approved gas canister.

For power: Slow & Low Rock and Rye
A decidedly high-proof, straight rye cocktail in a 100 ml can with hints of orange, rock candy and honey. (42% ABV, $3.99 per can)

For (anti-)wine cooler-ing: Hoxie Spritzer
“Good wine, in a can, from Missouri, it’s true.” That’s Hoxie’s pitch — and guess what? It is true. These spritzers, as our Editor-in-Chief notes, “taste more like a San Pellegrino than rosé … and that’s a good thing. They go down quick and easy, which makes them perfect for sneaking into concerts, discreet public-park drinking or slugging on the subway.” (5% ABV, $28 for two four-packs)

For (relative) nutrition: COCO Cocktails
Lemon-lime flavored coconut-water loaded with vitamins A, C, D, E, B1 and B6, along with 177mg of potassium and superfruits Garcinia Cambogia and Mangosteen. (5.6% ABV, $14.99 for a four-pack)

For variety: Cutwater Spirits
From the people behind the forward-thinking Ballast Point brewery in San Diego — crafters of Red Velvet oatmeal stout, peppermint imperial porters and an entire line of pepper-infused brews — comes this equally adventurous spirits brand, which has transformed its proprietary line of booze into a series of Bloody Marys, rum and gingers, rum and colas, and gin and tonics. (6.2 – 10% ABV, $14.99 for a four-pack)

For design: Stillhouse
“Bring this to your next party, and everyone will remember it.” That was our creative director’s first impression of Stillhouse, the moonshine — well, “clear corn whiskey” — that comes in a red gas can fully approved by John Varvatos. Now available in a pocket-sized “Roadie” edition. (40% ABV, $15.99)

For mixing: Fishers Island Lemonade
A mix of whiskey, vodka, lemon and honey that originated as a boozy lemonade (or, as they call it, “giggle water”) at Long Island’s The Pequot Inn, FIL can be enjoyed on its own, but works well as a part of toddy, mojito or a sweet tea vodka known as the “Shirtless John Daly.” (9% ABV, $5.95 per can)

Honorable mentions: The Pampelonne French 75, Punching Mule