When summer arrives, it is the natural inclination of a man to seek out water. Of the boating sort, sure, but also of the “Will this beer can float?” variety. And if you’re the kind of man blessed with his own swimming pool, of the “People will definitely seek you out, and frequently” variety.
It’s best you not disappoint. Herewith: a few steadfast rules to help you throw an epic pool party people around the block will be hooting about for the rest of the season.
Arm the party with an upbeat soundtrack
Summer bangers: you want those. A few classics, of course. Loungy tropical jammers? Include those, too. Nothing sets a vibe more than the right soundtrack. We suggest making your own, but feel free to have the Internet play DJ. We won’t tell.
Keep the grub light and refreshing
Body shame: never a good look. Last thing you wanna do is make your guests feel bloated. They’ll appreciate a few summer salads. And must you grill, seafood is your best friend (i.e., shrimp skewers).
Skip hiring a bartender and go large format
Here’s your drinking game plan: A self-serve large format punch (recipes here). A few bottles of Ruffino rosé. And one large ice chest of never-ending summer-friendly brews.
A few floats is more than enough
Unless you’re throwing a pool party for a bunch of 12-year-olds, don’t go overboard with the party favors. Something like this ridiculously giant pink flamingo ought to do the trick. Also this floating beer-pong barge. Paddle ball is also a good option.
A large projector is a very pro move
Instant nods of approval: get yourself a projector and throw up an ‘80s movie of your choosing. Or just leave things to Poolside FM.
If children abound, hire a lifeguard
Throwing said pool party for a bunch of 12-year-olds? Hire a lifeguard. Pay them well. Dial your parenting switch to “Off.”
This is but one installment of 37 Things a Man's Gotta Do This Summer, our annual compendium of everything worth seeing, doing, eating, drinking and generally making time for in your neck of the woods between now and September