Sex & Dating | September 30, 2020 8:20 am

Survey: Four in 10 Americans Have Never Reached Orgasm

But according to sex toy company Lora DiCarlo, they're having plenty of fake ones

couple having sex
In this, the year 2020, people are still faking orgasms.
Getty Images

A new survey from sex toy company Lora DiCarlo took a look inside the state of sex in America today, and like most things in America currently, it’s not looking great.

According to the poll, conducted by OnePoll on behalf of the sexual wellness brand for Sexual Health Awareness Month and reported by the New York Post, four in ten respondents said they’ve never had a real orgasm. Instead, it seems, they’re faking it. The survey found that 17 percent of sexually active respondents admitted to faking orgasms an average of four times a month — and it’s not just women doing it. The survey found that while women fake it 18 percent of the time, men aren’t too far behind at 16 percent.

The fake orgasm discourse as told by When Harry Met Sally tends to paint men as doddering idiots who have no idea women are faking it, but according to the survey, both men and women are in the dark when it comes to telling real orgasms from fake ones — perhaps women even more so. While 38 percent of men think their partners never fake it, 56 percent of women are confident of the same.

Unsurprisingly, that’s left 47 percent of respondents feeling like their partner doesn’t know how to please them, and 54 percent wanting to improve their sex lives, but unsure how.

It’s not all bad news, though. The survey also confirmed that a third of Americans are using sex toys, and 38 percent of them are using those toys in bed with a partner. This is a big leap forward in terms of closing the orgasm gap. Three-quarters of respondents who use sex toys said using those toys in bed improved communication with their partners, and nearly as many said they’re more likely to orgasm when a toy is involved.

Biggest takeaways here? Stop faking orgasms, start using sex toys in bed.

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