Elon Musk Obviously Doesn't Fund Grimes's Career

Elon Musk is many things: Tesla founder, billionaire, father to a child with an unpronounceable name, occasional Saturday Night Live host, the list goes on. One thing Elon Musk is not, however, is a sugar daddy to his apologetic girlfriend and the mother of his child, Grimes, who recently felt the need to remind fans that her billionaire boyfriend does not fund her music career.

Grimes issued this important reminder after a fan questioned why the artist, who formerly released music under indie label 4AD, had signed with major label Columbia Records. After Grimes dropped a snippet of a song the label reportedly deemed unworthy of a single on TikTok, a fan asked why such a free-spirited indie queen such as Grimes would even shackle herself to a mainstream label.

“Need to get out of the gate-keeping of indie music and I need $ for music videos etc.,” Grimes replied. “Contrary to popular belief my bf doesn’t fund my career.”

While Grimes claims this misconception is widespread, it seems rather obvious that Elon Musk is not funding her career. For one thing, Grimes was already independently successful and presumably somewhat wealthy — maybe not second-wealthiest person in the world wealthy, but surely successful recording artist wealthy — before linking up with her Tesla-founding boyfriend back in 2018. Moreover, if your boyfriend were funding your career, why would you even bother having a career at all? As anyone educated in the school of gold-digging knows, the whole point of bagging yourself a billionaire is so that you don’t have to work anymore. Grimes has been dating the second richest man alive for years and is still working for some reason entirely beyond my comprehension, so clearly getting her hands on those Tesla funds was not part of her plan — which I, personally, find completely unrelatable, but to each their own.

Fortunately, if Elon Musk is not funding Grimes’s career, that means he is still available to fund my own dream career of not having one at all. Elon Musk, if you’re reading this, please know that unlike Grimes, I take absolutely zero pride in supporting myself financially and you are more than welcome to fund my career goal of never working again.