4 Dating Hacks for Non-Douchey Men

Never change. Well, just a little.

By The Editors
February 12, 2015 9:00 am

Dating, like everything else in San Francisco, is competitive.

For every attractive and accomplished woman who’s A) available and B) not too busy making soap with organic beef tallow, there are C) 10 entrepreneurs waiting to spend hundreds of bitcoins on her. This may be you. And if so, congratulations, you’ve earned it.

But should you wish to escape the humblebragging, hashtagging, one-upping rat race, we humbly present four date hacks sure to make you stand out.

For a romantic assist, we asked Christina Han and Angie Lee, matchmaking experts at Tawkify (think advanced placement OKCupid) for their best tips.

1. Stop Talking About Work
“We get it,” says Lee. “You’re passionate. Work can define you, [but] don’t allow it to be the only definition of who you are. I get a lot of people who come in saying they want someone driven, smart and successful, but I think people are mixing up what they would want out of an employee versus a partner.”

2. Pause. Appreciate.
“Step out of the meritocracy mindset,” says Han. “[Men in San Francisco] often don’t take the time or seem to have the inclination to find any of [their dates] ‘special.’ They invariably move on to the next; find a woman with a more impressive LinkedIn page. This is a ubiquitous problem.”

3. Level Up Your Sartorial Game
“The tech uniform — running shoes, jeans, hoodie, free company T-shirt — says a few things about the guy who wears it,” says Han. “It’s a kind of humblebrag: as knowledge workers, their positions are so secure despite lack of presentation that they can afford to get away with this.” 

4. Actually Spend Time
“So you work out five days a week, work 80 hours, volunteer at your local non-profit, flip houses and host social dinners every other month? I’m impressed by your multi-tasking,” says Han, “but I’m not impressed by your busy schedule. In an overly competitive city, the best way to show someone you care is by giving them time.”

5. Or There’s Always Plan B

That last tip came straight from us. Happy Valentine’s Day.


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