The Internet Is Roasting Ryan Lochte as His Robbery Tale Starts Unraveling
Keep on swimming, pal
It seems Ryan Lochte’s robbery story isn’t quite adding up.
On Sunday night, Lochte reported that he, along with fellow U.S. swimmers Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger and James Feigen, were robbed and held at gunpoint. Originally, the swimming Gold medalist claimed the crew’s taxi was pulled over by men who flashed police badges.
According to Lochte one of the men cocked a gun and pressed it to his head, and Lochte “was like, ‘whatever.’” The story seemed a bit fishy from the start, but then, Lochte’s never been considered the brightest merman in the pool.
He toned down his tragic story on Wednesday, saying they were actually robbed at a gas station — and the gun was only pointed towards him. Okay…
But new information suggests that Lochte and his teammates might not have been victims at all. One recently surfaced video shows the swimmers joking around as they returned to the Olympics village — carrying expensive items that would likely have been stolen in any robbery.
And a new report indicates that the men were asked to use a bathroom at the gas station, but instead peed on the wall. (Leave it to swimmers to think peeing outside a bathroom is acceptable.)
Bentz and Conger were escorted off a U.S.-bound plane to be questioned further, but Lochte escaped Rio before the police could seize his passport and bring him in.
The jury’s still out on what really happened that fateful night, but there’s one thing the internet knows for sure: Lochte really is as dumb as we all thought.
COPS: Nothing Ryan Lochte says makes sense.
PRESS: About the robbery?
— Mike Scully (@scullymike) August 18, 2016
Sketch of the guy who held up Lochte pic.twitter.com/sPLUvWz5dC
— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) August 18, 2016
The sad thing for Ryan Lochte is that Michael Phelps also assaulted a security guard and faked a robbery in half the time.
— Chris Lehmann (@lehmannchris) August 18, 2016
and was ryan lochte really the brains of the operation? even if he’s the oldest, how’s that vote go?
— El Flaco (@bomani_jones) August 18, 2016
Ryan Lochte’s saving grace is that we already thought he was kind of an idiot. Keep those expectations nice and low.
— Jane Coaston (@cjane87) August 18, 2016
“No, it’s true, I was with Lochte at the time of the robbery, we are all still shaken from the ordeal.” -Brian Williams
— Mia Khalifa (@miakhalifa) August 18, 2016
Just acquired this photo of Ryan Lochte going through security at the Rio de Janeiro airport pic.twitter.com/J8nQulSBm3
— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) August 18, 2016
LOCHTE: So the robber went for my wallet
COP: Then what?
LOCHTE: The robber was like “woah you got a big penis” and I was like “w/e”
— Will Buikema (@wbuik) August 18, 2016
brazil police: were you robbed or what
ryan lochte: I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative
— Bryanna Cappadona (@brycappa) August 18, 2016
Moral of the story? You can run from the police, but not the internet.
Image via: Matt Hazlett/Getty Images
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