Watching — gasp! — pornography isn’t as taboo as it once was.
And yet, it’s still, for the most part, a party-of-one affair.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could share it with your partner? Sans judgment? Or shame?
While there are studies that break down what women are searching for online, we wanted to know a bit more, so we asked nine real, live, sex-having women what they’re into, what they are definitely not into, and if they even want to watch it with you in the first place.
There are some surprises.
Mona, 29, Content Strategist
Feeling out the scene
"I watch porn two times a week or so. Girl-on-girl turns me on the most, even though I'm totally straight. I'm not into rough or BDSM, it freaks me out watching women get gagged, bound and hit. I've watched with boyfriends and hookups in the past. I definitely think it can help to break the ice and set the mood."
Julia, 30, RN
Got this really great guy
"I watch about half the time when I'm giving myself some self-love. Surprisingly rarely with the boo. Always open to it! But part of my enjoyment is having it on mute and fast-forwarding to the best bits. I get into soft lesbian or hetero porn; pink, clean vaginas and nice real boobs are my jam. Not into anything with cheesy intros, fake parts (hair, boobs, nails), or fetish porn for turn-on (but will always watch for the novelty)."
Johanna, 33, TV Personality
One kid and one online profile
"Porn has gotten batsh*t crazy these days. It's fake. It's psycho. I watch some Make Love, Not Porn. It's real people. Not always the best looking, but it's genuine and thereby very hot. I'll watch porn with a guy. Sure. It's telling about what he's into and I'm into knowing about that."
Otto, 35, Magazine Editor
Gonna keep him
"I watch lesbian and threesome porn. Mainly because the men in porn are trolls and I'm into Latins and Asians. They're wildly underrepresented in pretty much anything on screen, sexual or otherwise. Plus, I don't have time to watch a 20-minute blowjob. I have a real job. Also I'm bi. My guy and I will watch together from time to time, but I definitely judge his choices. Some of those ladies are gnarly. I think it's best kept to ourselves. If I'm going to watch people have sex with him, we'll just go see the real thing."
Lily, 28, Marketing Coordinator
My Facebook says 'Single'
"I've watched porn in the past, but it's too unrealistic for me to get into on the reg. I prefer a good erotic story time read with my man. Also, I'm not interested enough in the visual to really research and find my ‘genre.’ And TBH nothing is hotter than the Titanic sex scenes except maybe The Notebook."
Nicole, 45, Dermatologist
Back in the dating game
"I love watching porn. And do so often. But I like to watch things that I don't get into in the bedroom. Choking, leather, bondage — the filthier the better — and anything backdoor. Not that I'm a prude. It's all on the table. It's just that these days I need to smoke a full joint before anyone is playing the back nine. And, no, I don't watch porn with men. If you need something to turn you on other than me — like another woman on TV — I'll be calling you a cab before you can reach for the remote."
Gwen, 26, Account Management
"My biggest criteria when watching porn is whether or not the girl looks like she is genuinely enjoying herself and if she orgasms. If it looks like she is in pain, being mistreated, is uncomfortable or obviously not getting off, I am immediately taken out of the moment. Due to that I gravitate towards female friendly, lesbian and toys porn. Watching with a partner can be really fun so long as we enter it with a sense of humor. Sometimes it can be time consuming to try and find a video you both like. It can also feel very personal to share what videos you watch privately with another person and feel open to scrutiny."
Mandy, 30, Sales Executive
"I indulge. I honestly think it's kind of strange if people don't. I usually like close ups/POVS, but it can change. Something a little adventurous or aggressive can get me really excited, but in a normal life setting (nothing too rape-y). Sometimes massage scenes even get me going. It's so intimate. Also NOT into super silly like costumes. I can't help but laugh. I have watched with a partner, but only once and it wasn't as hot as I thought it was going to be. Definitely open to trying again though! It would need to be with someone I'm very comfortable with though — sexually and emotionally."
Layla, 31, Graphic Designer
Living in sin
"It's like a naughty treat to indulge in when I find myself home alone. It's also a great way to warm up before a date or sexy time with the man. I like to watch things that are more extreme than anything I'd normally partake in. But one consistent thing I look for is that most of the attention is being lavished on the woman. Being the center of attention is sexy. But I really hate how most blow jobs are portrayed. I'd rather focus on the d*ck than the gagging girl. It could be a lot sexier. I also hate when its like Barbie and Ken f*cking on a bench press. When the scenario is too contrived and the people are too plastic, I don't find it sexy at all. I've watched with my man before, but it made me laugh to see the porn he likes. He is a bit younger than me and let's just say the bench press example wasn't random. Sometimes I find porn that I think I should show him because its easier to show someone rather than tell them what you want or find sexy. I also think he's not ready to see some of the porn I watch. Haha!"