Apocalypse-Proof Dress Pants, Basically

They’re odor-, liquid- and stain-resistant. Forever.

By Kirk Miller

Apocalypse-Proof Dress Pants, Basically
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19 September 2016

Classic startup story: Mark Zuckerberg wears the same T-shirt and hoodie every day.

His reason? He wants to quote make as few decisions as possible. Eyes on the prize, as it were.

But even a zillionaire empire founder needs pants.

Found ‘em: a pair of really nice dress pants that never smell or get stained, and can be replaced at any time for pretty much any reason. Guaranteed for life.

The pants are called The Forever O.G. and they’re available now for preorder on Kickstarter. Made in New York, these chinos feature a four-way stretch, a three-ply cotton fabric infused with silver and a lot of nice details (heavy-duty YKK zippers, Italian gingham lining, reinforced stretch points, etc.). All for just $100-some bucks, and currently being sold in four classic colors. Think of them as a more budget-conscious Bonobos.

But these pants go the extra mile: they’re guaranteed for life. Rips and tear? Send ‘em back and they’ll either fix your trousers or send over a new pair. Get fat or lose weight? Send ‘em back, get a new pair gratis.

They’re also odor-, liquid- and stain-resistant, which makes them a good replacement for those lucky sweats you were planning on wearing every Sunday from now until January.

Those things stink, man.

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