Election Night Bingo Will Save Your Tuesday Night

Print these out. Watch results. Drink.

By Kirk Miller

Bingo
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08 November 2016

Look, we know who’s gonna win tonight.

You are.

Given that dumpster fire is now the official pseudonym for the 2016 election cycle (hey, at least there hasn’t been a gun duel), we thought you could use a little distraction.

We call it Election Night Bingo.

Instructions:

  1. Turn on your network of choice (we suggest CNN, since Wolf Blitzer is bound to do something meme-worthy).
  2. Every time a person, place, action or phrase on your Bingo card is actualized on screen, fill in your card.
  3. Drink. Early, often and in anticipation of something grave and irrevocable.

You’ll never be so happy to witness Ken Bone, “rigged elections” and something about Florida in a row.

Now, you won’t really “win” anything — except the knowledge that democracy is, as Winston Churchill once posited, the worst form of government … except for all the others.

Enjoy — yes, enjoy — your night. We’ve attached a Bingo card below for your perusal (and here’s a printable version).

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