Look, we know who’s gonna win tonight.
We call it Election Night Bingo.
- Turn on your network of choice (we suggest CNN, since Wolf Blitzer is bound to do something meme-worthy).
- Every time a person, place, action or phrase on your Bingo card is actualized on screen, fill in your card.
- Drink. Early, often and in anticipation of something grave and irrevocable.
You’ll never be so happy to witness Ken Bone, “rigged elections” and something about Florida in a row.
Now, you won’t really “win” anything — except the knowledge that democracy is, as Winston Churchill once posited, the worst form of government … except for all the others.
Enjoy — yes, enjoy — your night. We’ve attached a Bingo card below for your perusal (and here’s a printable version).