You Don’t Have the World’s Best Guac Recipe. This Man Does.

Avocados are going to pay for The Wall. Let's use them wisely.

January 27, 2017 9:00 am

Among the many unknowns concerning our current administration, the question of who’s paying for The Wall remains unsettled, if not utterly confusing.

Since President Trump’s plan for Mexico to pay for the wall has become increasingly improbable, the White House has proposed a 20% border tax on Mexico as one of the ways to fund it. This is a huge thing. Because it just so happens that Mexico is the second largest supplier of agriculture imports to the U.S., and if you think the Internet is not above making — of all things — avocados it’s rallying cry, then you certainly don’t know the Internet.

That’s right: the Internet is lamenting the potential price hike of avocados. To which we say: don’t even get us started on tequila.

Even the the BBC got in on the action, complete with a slightly racist video segment explaining the facts (sound on).

OK. We get it. Ya don’t wanna pay more for avocados.

But instead of making jokes about your precious avocado toast (when they go low), below you’ll find a classic gaucamole recipe (we go high) from chef Michael Armstrong at New York’s Bodega Negra Cafe. As the Washington Post’s Phillip Bump determined, Americans will need to buy between 20 and 25 billion avocados to pay off The Wall. So commit this to memory and then get out there and do your part.

Classic Guacamole
Chef Michael Armstrong, Bodega Negra Cafe


2 ripe avocados, halved and diced
½ white onion, diced
1 Serrano chile, minced
½ bunch Cilantro, leaves chopped
1 medium tomato, diced
1 lime, juiced
Salt to taste


1. Combine onion, chile, and cilantro in a bowl and mash together
2. Juice lime into the bowl and mix
3. Scoop the diced avocado and mix into the bowl
4. Stir in diced tomato
5. Season with salt and additional lime as needed


Join America's Fastest Growing Spirits Newsletter THE SPILL. Unlock all the reviews, recipes and revelry — and get 15% off award-winning La Tierra de Acre Mezcal.