‘Wingwoman’ Teaches New York Bachelors the Lost Art of Dating

Services include everything from date ride-alongs to crafting flirty text messages.

May 13, 2017 5:00 am
NYC Wingwoman Cher Gopman
Dating coach and professional wingwoman, Cher Gopman, is the founder of NYC Wingwoman. (Courtesy Cher Gopman)

Wearing a fitted, dark suit and a similarly dark, open-collared shirt that hugged his physique, Toufic Moret met up with Cher Gopman at a rooftop bar in Midtown, Manhattan on Saturday night just past 10 p.m. The city’s surrounding skyscrapers started to light up as Moret gave Gopman, who is petite and cheerful, his undivided attention. The pair has been meeting up for a few weeks now. But this isn’t a date. In fact, Gopman was there to help Moret meet other women—Gopman is Moret’s ‘wingwoman.’

Gopman is otherwise known as the NYC Wingwoman, helping men—and a few women—all over the Big Apple find the love or relationship they want. After listening to Moret’s war stories she offers advice. Gopman’s enthusiasm far outweighs her small frame. In fact, she may be New York City’s biggest cheerleader for love.

“There are a lot of amazing guys out there,” Gopman told RCL. “They’re successful men who just don’t have the skills to talk to women. I want to help them to find love.”

As the night begins, the duo scanned the bar for women.

“Which girls are you interested in?” Gopman quizzed Moret.

They quickly approached a group of tall blondes and struck up a conversation. Gopman’s warmth was evident as the four chatted about travel plans. The women didn’t seem at all phased that the man hitting on them was with another woman. But, of course, that is the point.

Gopman said NYC Wingwoman is unique specifically because she is not training them to be pick-up artists, which have a reputation for psychologically manipulating women into short-term sexual flings. “I teach my clients to approach women genuinely,” she emphasized. “You don’t have to be an a–hole to get or meet women.”

With prices ranging up to $200 an hour, Gopman offers private sessions that include customizing online profiles, selecting photos and crafting the perfect introduction, wardrobe consultations, and writing text messages. Gopman also accompanies men to singles-friendly places like bars, cafes and dog parks and gives them feedback.

“My clients tell me everything, even sexual things,” Gopman said. “I want my them to feel comfortable. It makes it easier for me to work with them.”

Gopman limits her clients to 10 at a time—but her waitlist quickly fills up. Loyal followers can also find her on YouTube and Instagram, or read her blog to get more relationship advice.

Moret, 47, said he found Gopman through friends. He had been out of the dating game for nearly a decade. As a personal trainer, he is always busy with work and felt he had lost confidence about how to navigate the dating scene.

“It’s been so long I’ve forgotten how to talk to women,” Moret said. Gopman may be Moret’s dream woman—except she’s married. “She’s perfect,” Moret said of Gopman. “She tells me the right things to say to women and helps me with my online profile. Most importantly, she’s given me the confidence to be myself.”

Recently, Gopman held a one-day dating boot camp at a Manhattan bar, where she invited some of her female model friends to chat with clients, only to be hit on by a guy herself.

“This guy came up to me and it was obvious it was a pick-up line,” she said. Unruffled by the unwanted attention, she quickly seized the opportunity. “I gave him my card and told him what I do and he became a client.”

While there is no shortage of competition in New York City for dating coaches, Gopman is one of the few women. And at 26, with a mane of glossy dark hair, infectious smile, and a penchant for red lipstick, she is not only one of the more attractive relationship experts, but also one of the youngest.

“Men come to me because I’m younger” and more familiar with the ins and outs of the modern singles scene, she said. “But also, men don’t really know what women want. What better way to get the inside scoop on what women want than from a woman?”

Gopman was working in a psychiatric ward in her home state of Florida before moving to New York. Her job as a psychiatric nurse involved researching relationships issues. Even off the clock, Gopman found herself as the go-to person for others’ romantic troubles.

“I was always treating people,” she recalled. “I was the one all my guy friends came to for relationship advice. Then one day my dad said: ‘You’re already doing this for everyone, why not make money off of it?’”

With the help of her husband’s business skills, Gopman turned that talent for reading people and helping them with relationships into a full-time business, NYC Wingwoman.

“Some men are looking for a relationship; some men have more confidence to approach women,” Gopman said. “But my clients are always where they want to be by the end of their sessions. Everyone has dates in New York City by the end, whereas before they had zero.”


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