The World’s Worst “Holiday” Is Tomorrow

And it sounds kinda dirty

By The Editors
August 7, 2015 9:00 am

Let me be the first to wish you National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day!

OK, fine, NSSZOYPD is actually tomorrow. Jumped the gun.

Now, you may have some questions.

Like: What is NSSZOYPD? Why is this a “holiday”? Is it as dirty as it sounds?

And while we’re free-associating questions, why is there a National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day (Aug. 4)? Or a National TV Dinner Day (Sept. 10)? And who thought up National Static Electricity Day (Jan. 9)?

According to The Daily Dot, all of these celebrations are the work of a four-person committee in North Dakota called Zoovio.

For a couple grand, the committee will “proclaim” whatever holiday you desire.

Well, not whatever holiday. You actually have to apply for it. There has to be, no joke, some merit.

Spend a bit more, and Zoovio’ll help spread the word to the media. Which is why — if you want a little inside baseball — yours truly gets hit up by the PR machine for every one of these ridiculous food and drink days, from National Rum Day to National Apricot Day.

As for Zucchini Day: it’s a way to rid yourself of unwanted surplus summer squash (or so claims the holiday’s Geocities-worthy site).

But don’t take that too seriously. From the holiday’s creator, news/talk radio personality Tom Roy, this is part of the holiday celebration:

“Under light of full moon, either stark naked or wearing full army camouflage, carrying a machete or any garden implement, and run amok in your zucchini patch, cutting and slashing. Be sure to thank mother nature for her bounty before and after this cathartic experience.”

After naked macheting, revelers are supposed to wrap the fruit (yes, it’s a fruit) into the same paper a deli would use to house a footlong sub. Then you send these ‘hinis along to a fundraiser as … a very, very bad joke, I guess.

Perhaps we could all celebrate these worthless holidays on one day: we suggest Sept. 1.

Currently known as National No Rhyme Nor Reason Day.

(H/t The Daily Dot)

Photo: Vanessa Pike-Russell/Flickr Creative Commons

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