Super Bowl Sunday in Five Easy Pieces
Your step-by-step guide to hosting like a man
It’s Super Bowl time again and, though our spirits are more deflated than Belichick’s balls, we owe it to God, country and (former InsideHook cover girl) Charlotte McKinney commercials to enjoy the game. Here’s how to host like a man.
1. Get the best food and booze delivered
First, skip the wings.
Second: get some Nashville hot fried chicken from the bird whisperers at Roost Carolina Kitchen.
Order whole, with trays of baked mac and cheese, buttermilk biscuits and hand-cut potato chips (full menu right here).
Then, third, order from Big Star’s do-it-yourself taco bar.
Real pros will make sure to order the Walking Taco Supreme — their infamous Walking Taco in dip form.
Finally, use on-demand delivery speedsters Foxtrot for craft booze. Your (oft-besotted) correspondent recommends Founder’s All Day IPA and Koval Single Barrel Rye.
2. Place your bets
How long will it take Idina Menzel to sing the US National Anthem? “According to our inside sources, Idina is going under two minutes. She’s never gone over and we don’t expect that to change.”
Will Al Michaels refer to the point spread, total, odds on who wins game or any prop bet during the game? “As most people know, Al Michaels is fan of prop bets. This one seems like it might be a trap bet — but with +200 odds on “Yes,” we’re taking yes.
What will happen to the Dow Jones the day after the Super Bowl? “The last three years, the Dow has closed down the day after the Super Bowl. With the even money bet, we’re going with history here.”
3. Get your house cleaned
For the day before, and the morning after: Wischen. Maids on-demand within the hour.
4. Get yourself cleaned up
Book a Super Bowl hangover cure special with IVme. InsideHook-tested, InsideHook-approved.
5. Or just go to a bar
If you’re not hosting, your correspondent recommends the Highline. It’s got that laid-back, polished thing going on.
If you’re more concerned about good bar grub: Old Town Social.
And for an epic beer list and two floors of ample viewing: Fatpour.