You probably didn’t expect an article with “underwear” in the title to start with a quote from Seneca, but I’m going to do it anyway. The Stoic philosopher once said: “Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day. The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.”
Indeed. One day we’ll be worm food. And in the years preceding that — if we’re lucky enough to live into old age — we’ll see once-simple things turn onerous, like taking the stairs, heaving luggage into an overhead bin on an airplane or even just putting on underwear in the morning.
In recent weeks, I’ve taken note of exactly how I put on my underwear — and realized it would be a minor miracle if I’m still doing it this way in 40 years. But if negative visualizations have the power to cultivate positivity in the brain, I’d hazard to say they can also create mobility in the body.
This underwear self-audit sparked a few questions: What can I do now to preserve the strength, flexibility and balance that allows me to slip into my trusty Mack Weldons? How might nurturing those same abilities pay off in other areas of life for the decades ahead? The answers led me to put together what I’ve dubbed the underwear fitness test.
How I Put on My Underwear
Sorry to disappoint, reader, no video here. Just action verbs. Step one: I stand on one leg. Step two: I pick the opposite leg up off the ground and slip it through its corresponding hole in the undies. Step three: I transfer all the weight, heaving the other leg through the other hole in a quick high-knee maneuver. Step four: I dance. Sometimes.
Great. Why Is That Impressive?
It depends on how you look at it. To most of the Millennial and Gen Z set, no, I don’t think that description reads as all that impressive. Adults do all sorts of quotidian athletic things as they rush around their homes, getting ready for school or work. Someone older than me, though, who puts on their underwear in bed, on the couch or while leaning against a doorframe for support, might think: Huh, been a while since I went full “praying mantis” while putting on boxer briefs.
That’s because the action is “an intricate computation of neuromuscular coordination and immediate decision making,” to borrow some analysis from Tenacious Fitness.
Putting on underwear while standing on one leg is a test of one’s balance, flexibility, core strength and, specifically, proprioception, which is your body’s sense of position in space. If your proprioception has lost its way (which is highly common in aging populations), it’s possible you wouldn’t be able to stay upright during that mid-leg-swing, when the other leg is trying to land safely in the underwear.
The stakes here are higher than most of us realize. Someone over the age of 65 falls down every second in the United States. These falls break arms, rob seniors of their independence and dignity, and sometimes even prove fatal. But zeroing in on a simple task like getting dressed can help us contextualize the issue, and prepare accordingly.
A Fitness Guide to Preventing Dangerous Falls in Old Age
Costly tumbles amongst seniors are an epidemic. Get ahead of them now.How to Improve Your “Underwear Fitness”
Before you do anything else, I want you to change your underwear. Do you put it on like me? If not, are you able to? Did you ace the jumping move, or wobble around a little bit?
Looking forward, I’d recommend penciling in the following exercises to bolster not only your underwear fitness, but your longevity, too:
- Single-leg exercises: Standing leg lifts, step-ups and single-leg reaches train balance and coordination
- Hip and hamstring mobility work: Gentle stretches, yoga flows and dynamic lunges help keep your lower body nimble
- Core activation: Planks, side planks and seated core twists strengthen the muscles that stabilize your torso
- Proprioception practice: Standing on a cushion, closing your eyes while balancing and walking heel-to-toe along a line all fine-tune your body’s internal GPS
The end of days awaits us all, but before that will be many, many troublesome mornings. Accept that now, and you won’t have to stumble through them.
Meet your guide
More Like This
The Charge will help you move better, think clearer and stay in the game longer. Subscribe to our wellness newsletter today.
