True Crime Fans, Are You Ready for the Hamptons Police Blotter?

From celebrity disputes to misplaced traffic cones

Sag Harbor
What mysteries can be found in towns like Sag Harbor?
Tomas Martinez/Unsplash

For decades, the Hamptons have enjoyed a reputation as an idyllic waterfront community, abounding with distinctive homes and noteworthy beaches. The Hamptons are also home to impressive art and have acted as a muse for notable literary works.

And apparently, they’re also where you’ll find the most surreal take on true crime this side of Only Murders in the Building.

That’s the big takeaway from a new article by Gabrielle Bluestone at Curbed. At the heart of Bluestone’s article is the police blotter from the East Hampton Star, a newspaper that’s been covering the region since 1885. Among the incidents cited in the August 11 police blotter include nonexistent car thieves, a napping Uber driver and a mysterious traffic cone.

As the article in Curbed points out, the Star‘s police blotter also includes some well-known figures, including espionage novelist Anton Furst, who has apparently called the police multiple times about random objects (a cardboard box, a wet napkin) left in his yard. There’s also a reference to a man the Star referred to as “a television news anchor recently fired from his job at CNN.”

There’s an art to recounting a whole world in the context of a short dispatch about a crime or other disturbance, and the East Hampton Star‘s police blotter accomplishes this task with aplomb. It’s also a fascinating look into one community’s disputes and disagreements — with a couple of high-profile figures thrown into the mix.

The InsideHook Newsletter.

News, advice and insights for the most interesting person in the room.