By Cory Gunkel / November 2, 2017

Tom Brady’s Insane Health Regimen

The Patriots' star quarterback boasts a pretty serious training routine as he tries to play past 40.

New England Patriots
Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots gestures during the first quarter against the Kansas City Chiefs. (Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

Tom Brady’s diet and training routine are almost as crazy as his run as the best quarterback in the NFL over the past two decades. Brady’s habits are known within football’s inner circle as some of the most stringent of any athlete, and a recent feature by ESPN gave us all of the details the 40-year-old’s routine with trainer and business partner Alex Guerrero.

“Every day, [Brady] wakes up at 6 in the morning and immediately drinks 20 ounces of purified water, augmented with TB12 electrolytes, which, as he tells us, contain the “72 trace minerals” generally lost in perspiration,” according to the article. “As a result, he says, he is so well-hydrated that “even with adequate exposure to the sun, I won’t get sunburned,” and he presumes that the muscles under his skin look like “beautiful tenderloins” instead of “shriveled jerky.” He trains about four hours a day, and on most days, he “does pliability” with Guerrero, who, with hands capable of generating “50 newtons of force in a single finger” — about 11 pounds — applies “targeted pressure” to Brady’s muscles.”

It seems like the only thing missing here is the magic water the Toon Squad uses in Space Jam. This really does sound like a bunch of junk science, especially when you realize Guerrero claims to know how to cure concussions and cancer. All for the low, low price of $250!

ESPN’s Bomani Jones countered these claims with a pretty hilarious summation of his own on his radio show “The Right Time.”

“Imagine somebody walks up in your crib talking about ‘I got the cure for sunburn, and that’s my homeboy, he say he got the cure for cancer … I’m out here exercising my brain to where I know that when I get hit I tell my muscles what to do, and you, for the very very low price of $250, can get started,’” Jones said.

If anyone is selling the cure for cancer for just $250, they’re — at best — a horrible businessperson and, at worst, a lying charlatan. Despite that, though, Brady’s training routine seems to be working for him, as he’s as durable as ever right now playing in more than 100 consecutive games.

He’s even doing it without magic water.