Advice | June 22, 2016 9:00 am

Your Buddy’s Lady Is Stepping Out. Here’s How to Handle It.

You didn’t ask for this. But here’s what to do.

Not all knowledge is good.

For example: Did you know that mattresses double in weight thanks to dust mites and their excrement? Well they do. And now you know that.

But we’d rather sit on every piece of trivia on the internet than discover our best friend’s lady is stepping out. Because that is not just knowledge; that is a bomb waiting to go off in your face.

You never asked for this. But deal with it you must.

If you saw something you weren’t meant to see — an errant kiss, a misdirected email — the burden’s on you to deal with it. Here’s our advice.

The case for telling no one …
Any of these situations could apply: You don’t know either of them well enough. Evidence points to an indiscretion, not an affair. He’s messing around on her. He’s always bragging about his open relationship, in which case it’s less cheating than the cost of doing business.

The case for telling her …
Seems to us that this is the option most often pursued in the movies: friend catches wife out, friend tells wife she has to come clean, wife murders friend before her dirty laundry is aired. But if you have a relationship with her that’s as significant as the one with your buddy, consider telling her what you know, advise her to come clean and step away from the mess. Just watch for any pianos dropping from windows.

The case for telling him …
A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. If he is a truly significant friend and the evidence suggests an ongoing affair rather than an indiscretion, sharing information might be the only way forward. Would you want to know? Would he? Assuming you’re able to answer the latter question — based on, hopefully, decades of friendship and mutual trust — make a call and stick to it. If you think he would want to know, tell him quickly, calmly and privately. If you don’t, keep your mouth shut. Whatever you do, don’t waffle with hints or nudges. That’s a coward’s game.

Main image via Youtube