Welcome to the first issue of Lazy Susan's Sex Advice, in which we bring you bedroom tips — some of which might even be helpful — from a rotating cast of real, live women.
In this issue, our inaugural columnist, Sara Schaefer (she of MTV's Niki and Sara Live) discusses dating apps, twerking and laughing in the bedroom (no, not at that).
The hell is up with these dating apps that geo-target people?
When a guy geo-targets me, I know he isn't interested in superficial stuff like my personality, intelligence, or values. He's choosing me based on the most important quality in a woman: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. But seriously, if girls are putting themselves on the map, literally, then why not? Just make sure you ask first before geo-targeting on her face.
We'll make it happen if all guys agree to have an orgasm from holding our purse in the mall.
I've been out of the game for awhile, and I'm told that taking a woman to a comedy show is a good first date. True?
Comedy clubs often have comedians who do really dirty material, sometimes offensive jokes, and other times they'll talk to the audience and might even make fun of you in front of your date. It can be hilarious and freeing, but also a nightmare if you don't know each other that well. Do your research - and ask her if she's into comedy and what type of comedians she likes.
On the other hand, it's a great way to find out if you're into the same thing. She'll learn a lot about you if you scream out "WOOO!" to a comedian who asks "Who likes hookers?"
When I was married, I had great sex with my wife, but we didn't get along. Now I'm single and I've met this woman with whom I don't have great sexual chemistry, but she's fun to hang out with. Will our sex ever get better?
If there's absolutely zero sexual attraction, then probably not. But if there's any spark, I am a big believer that you can fan it into a full blown flame. If she's your girl in every other way, the sex part can always be improved upon. Just remember: It gets wetter.
What's up with twerking?
I actually don't know. But what I do know is that if you ask that question out loud in public, you're going to sound very old, and very white.