News & Opinion | December 9, 2016 9:00 am

How to Get Your Uber Privileges Revoked, According to Uber

No guns. No sex. No puking.

In a move we can’t help but think relates to the hordes of debauched Santas who’ll be needing rides all over America this weekend, Uber just updated its rider conduct policy.

There are lots of guidelines, but it basically boils down to three things: no guns, no sex, no puking.

In order to ensure riders and drivers are able to enjoy the ride, Uber wants customers to “treat people as you would like to be treated yourself” and warns that failure to do so could lead to membership privileges being canceled — and on an immediate basis, if the offense is severe enough.

First off, the sex, or lack thereof.

“It’s OK to chat with other people in the car. But don’t comment on someone’s appearance or ask whether they are single. And don’t touch or flirt with other people in the car. As a reminder, Uber has a no sex rule. That’s no sexual conduct between drivers and riders, no matter what.”

In addition to a complete ban on firearms, Uber also cautions that “leaving trash in the car, throwing up in the back seat after too much alcohol or asking a driver to break the speed limit” are all violations and also says it will take action against passengers who are “rude, abusive or violent.”

We’re guessing a few Santas are gonna be looking for new sleighs come Monday.