Vehicles | November 30, 2016 9:00 am

The Nine Best Two-Seaters of 2016

Aka, the "F*ck it, I'm not having kids" guide to car buying

There comes a point in every man’s life when he has to decide if he’s going to trade in his hopes, dreams and peaceful, full nights of sleep for a safer, more domestic vehicle. One with room for a car seat, seventy pounds of diapers and upholstery he doesn’t care about.

Or he can just say, “F*ck it, I’m not having kids.”

And if that’s the case, here are the nine sharpest two-seaters on the market right now to help you do just that.

2016 Porsche Cayman S
Small and light, but with 325 ponies that can hit 0-60 in 4.4 seconds. It comes in a six-speed manual or seven-speed dual-clutch automated manual transmission and will top out at 175 mph. It’s simple, agile and, well, a Porsche. Albeit yellow. But ignored that — they don’t exactly make record sales churning out lemons.

2016 SRT Viper
A competition-inspired ride with 645 horsepower and a killer suspension to handle the power. It’ll do 0-60 in four seconds. Just enough time to break a few necks in passing.

2016 Nissan 370Z
Ok, Nissan, we get it: you’re sexy now. We weren’t expecting this side of you when we first met. But we like it. An excellent sport category contender, the 370Z produces 332 horsepower, with a 350-pony version available as well. That one hits 60 in five seconds flat.

2016 Chevrolet Corvette
It just wouldn’t be a sportscar roundup without a Corvette. A killer two-seater, you can count on the ‘Vette for 455 horsepower and a 0-60 sprint in 3.8 seconds. Comes in a seven-speed manual or eight-speed automatic transmission, and is available in a coupe or throw-your-cares-to-the-wind convertible edition.

2016 Jaguar F-TYPE
If you ever so much as dipped your toes in the auto world, you know that the F-TYPE came out of the gates pretty hot. The first compact roadster Jaguar has popped off the line in decades, the two-seater boasts 340 horsepower, with 380 and 495 pony options. Four-second sprint time. It’ll suffice.

2016 BMW Z4 sDrive35is
Who wouldn’t go for a roadster with a retractable power hardtop? You would. Because a non-toddler-toting individual is all about those options. Compact yet premium, the Z4 is working with a 3.0-liter turbocharged V6 engine gunning out 335 horsepower. She’ll take you 0-60 in five seconds. Certain to fuss up your hair, but you’ll look damn fine in the process.

2016 Ferrari 488GTB
Dead. Sexy. The 661-horsepower Don Juan does 0-60 in three seconds. One exotic dish for two, served hot.

2016 Mazda MX-5 Miata
It might not be a Ferrari, but the Miata will serve you right. A roadster with a manual soft top and 155 ponies and an excellently balanced chassis meant to be pushed to the limit.

2016 Audi R8
The perfect work-to-weekend, luxury-meets-leisure make. The two-seater sport comes in a V10 version with 540 horsepower and a Plus iteration spitting out 610 thoroughbreds. A seven-speed dual-clutch automated manual transmission gives it enough juice and smoothness to go 0-60 in 3.2 seconds. That’ll come in handy at 5 P.M. on a Friday.

via Autobytel