Home Goods | December 29, 2016 9:00 am

Did You Want a Torn ACL? Because Here’s How You Get a Torn ACL.

Seriously, WTF are these things?

Because the interwebs are crammed full of crazy things, and sometimes the purpose of those things is not immediately discernible, we present WTF Is It, or, in this instance, WTF Are They?

WTF are they?
Sled Legs are strap-on mini sleds that cover the leg from beneath the knee to the top of the foot.

So what do they do?
While the stated purpose of the cushion-filled coverings is to allow their wearer to “slingshot” down a snowy hill with “that extra speed,” it appears the only thing Sled Legs will allow you to do with extra speed is get a spot on the waiting list for knee replacement surgery.

Who makes ‘em?
A Michigan-based design team that were driven by a “desire to break away from the daily grind” — apparently what daily sledding can prove to be — and wanted to invent something new.

Are they in any way useful?
Sure. If you’re behind on a payment to a loan shark and want to save him the trouble of teaching you a lesson, get Sled Legs. Or, if your brother-in-law’s orthopedic practice is struggling and you wanna give him some business, buy Sled Legs. Or, if you’re a masochist … Sled Legs.

Don’t you think you’re exaggerating just a tad?
Nope. Our top concern is, has been and always will be, your safety. Just trying to keep you upright.

Can I buy them?
If you live in the U.S. or Canada and can afford $65 and a sh*t-ton of insurance, you can buy ‘em.

Should I buy them?
Are you going for the “Tonya Harding on Bad Day” look? Want to ensure you’ll have a devestating knee injury shortly after Sled Legs start shipping? Just looking for the perfect way to cap off the dumpster fire that has been 2016? Then go for it.

Still think you’re exaggerating.
Try watching this without instantly needing to put an icepack on your soul and then we’ll talk.