While on a trip to Australia a few years ago, my sister and I noticed our dad was using a plastic shopping bag to haul his belongings. After years of traveling with my father, I’ve come to realize he can’t leave the house with just his wallet and phone. He always has his binoculars and a book in tow, regardless of where we’re headed, and that’s on top of whatever souvenirs he’s decided to buy.
Now you might be wondering: What does he use before he receives that complimentary plastic bag? His hands — he just juggles it all in his hands. My sister and I urged him to get a reusable tote bag in lieu of the flimsy plastic souvenir shopping bag, but he looked at us as if it was the most absurd idea in the world and swiftly shut down the suggestion. Getting my 58-year-old father to take a step out of his style comfort zone is like getting him to go to the doctor: near impossible.
While my own father might be a fashion lost cause, there is still hope for you.
Maybe you feel like fatherhood has stripped you of your identity. Now that you’re a dad, you can’t wear anything “cool.” It’s knee-length khakis and tucked-in polos from now on. Maybe you just haven’t had time to focus on anything other than keeping a human alive, especially something as inconsequential as what shirt to wear for daycare drop-off. Or perhaps you’re worried that venturing beyond the confines of safe, practical “dad style” will open you up to ridicule.
But you don’t have to resign yourself to an uninspired, ill-fitting wardrobe now that you’re a dad. Instead, you can make some simple but effective style changes that’ll take you from drab to DILF.
“Right now, so many pockets of social media focus on telling guys what to be mad about, but it’s actually a great time to be a man with a growth mindset,” says Megan Collins, founder of Style Girlfriend and the host of Reset Mode, a new modern makeover series from The Dads Initiative. “Now, more than ever, men can and should feel like they have the permission to make an effort without it being labeled as something that’s the opposite of masculine. If you want to try a fisherman sandal and jaunty linen pants? Go for it. If you want to fly to Turkey and get hair restoration surgery because that bald spot in the back of your head is getting bigger? Go for it.”
To help break you out of your style rut, I chatted with Collins on all things fatherhood and fashion.
InsideHook: Why do you think dads continue to wear clothes that no longer fit their lives, bodies or even their identity?
Megan Collins: Apathy is too easy an answer. I think there is, of course, a sense of getting swept away by fatherhood like it’s a strong ocean wave. Diapers and then preschool and then orthodontia bills and driver’s permits all come at you fast. But I would wager that for a lot of dads, there’s a more insidious factor at play. Because the second you become a father, the world tells you you’ve become less cool. It’s not a compliment to describe something as “dad XYZ,” like dad sneakers and dad rock. So putting effort into your clothes as your kids outgrow their own can feel unsettling. Even scary. Am I allowed to try something new? Can I pull this off? Do I even get to care about clothes while also caring about whether my kid is making friends in school or how I’m going to pay for college or if there will even be college by the time my kid is 18? To make an effort with your appearance is to cast hope and insecurity and effort out to sea and hope you haul something worthwhile in with your net. To me, though, making an effort is always worth it, even if it feels cringe, which it inevitably will at some point. After all, you can’t get to somewhere more interesting with your style without making some missteps along the way.
IH: What are some easy wardrobe upgrades dads can make?
MC: The chore coat isn’t going away anytime soon. I also really believe that every dad in the “chasing kids around the playground” phase of fatherhood needs a pair of Gramicci pants. They’ve got an elastic waistband and an integrated nylon belt, and they look cool with everything. They’re a great “third space” pant when you want to dress casually but don’t want to wear jeans or chinos. Like the coffee shop of pants.
IH: How would you encourage stubborn men to take fashion risks?
MC: It has to be a decision that comes from you. In Reset Mode, we’re working with dads who are excited to hit the reset button on their style, whether that’s a new look for work or for date nights or taking better care of their skin. No one should bully you or guilt you into making changes to how you show up in the world. They either won’t stick, or you’ll begrudge the person who nudged you to clean out your closet or go get a haircut.
IH: Are there any closet essentials you think dads should add to cart right now?
MC: You would be surprised at what a difference nice hangers can make. And by “nice,” I mean non-slip velvet hangers you can get at Container Store. You can replace every mismatched hanger in your closet for under, I don’t know, $50? It’s very Broken Windows theory. If your closet looks like a crime scene, you’re not going to be excited to dive in and see what you have, what you like, what needs to go. So when you do decide to dive in and do a closet audit, don’t put anything back into your closet without it being on a matching hanger.
IH: What are the biggest mistakes you think fathers make when it comes to their wardrobes?
MC: Defaulting to whatever’s in your closet. Maybe your spouse shops for you, or you’re always pulling out the work polo — the one in a sort of shiny performance fabric with the lumpy embroidered logo you got at last year’s company retreat. If you’re not making thoughtful, intentional decisions about how you want to present yourself to the world, you’re never going to feel totally confident. It doesn’t mean you have to get into fashion and care about every trend that gets sent down the runway. It just means you recognize you have agency in putting yourself together each morning. Pulling on clothes you’ve chosen for yourself because they make you feel good? What’s better than that?
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