You’ve had the conversation a dozen times. Your friend just took their first trip to Japan, and they came back smiling ear-to-ear with the afterglow of their many fascinating and novel discoveries. The convenience stores! The vending machines! The toilets! Yes, the beloved Toto toilets. Automatic flushing. Self-cleaning. Precise, adjustable bidet spraying. The works.
It’s been well-reported that the famed Toto is making inroads into the U.S., and at long last, because who doesn’t love the high-tech, feature-rich, fully-automated world of Japanese toilets? Your cousin Michelle thinks granulated black pepper is spicy, and even she just came back from her first trip to Japan a devoted convert.
But the Toto isn’t the only smart toilet on the market. In fact, at luxury hotels outside of Japan, an American-made brand is becoming more and more prominent. Forget the Toto, enter the Kohler. It’s one of a handful of “if you know, you know” hotel amenity trends that are spreading quicker than the rumors about what Michelle did at band camp all those years ago.
The Kohler Smart Toilet
There’s no denying that Totos are the category-defining pinnacle of intelligent toilet throne technology. But American-made Kohlers — in this case, shall we say, the Cadillacs of the toilet game — are getting in on the fun, too. In the past six months alone, I’ve seen them in rooms in Costa Rica at Nekajui, the newest member of The Ritz-Carlton Reserve portfolio, at Amanyara in Turks & Caicos and at the Fairmont Pacific Rim in Vancouver. Three different brands in three different countries with no connection beyond a shared interest in providing their guests with the finest offerings. And Kohler smart toilets were in them all, a pleasant surprise as I continue to put my body through the rigors of maximalist consumption that devoted food and booze journalism requires.
The Kohler smart toilets have all the features that toilet aficionados love from the Totos, such as lids that open and close when you walk in and out of the bathroom, greeting your arrival like a dog who thought you left forever this time when you went to the grocery store for half an hour, and a full suite of choose-your-own-adventure faucets and spigots. The latest even have handheld, touchscreen remotes affixed on the wall which can be removed and kept in hand should, I suppose, an emergency or a moment of inspiration strike.
And Kohlers are red, white and blue, baby. Get in on the MAFA movement or get left behind, losers. Make America Flush (Great) Again, or something to that effect.
Amanyara, a resort known not only for its immaculate Turks & Caicos beach credentials but also for its wellness offerings, updated its 58 rooms and resident villas with Kohler smart toilets in 2020. If an excellent — nurturing, even — smart toilet doesn’t qualify as part of a wellness program, then I don’t know what does.
When Aman announced Novak Djokovic as its global wellness advisor, I spoke with him on Zoom for an hour about his personal philosophy for health and wellness, and about the detoxification program he created at Amanyara. It’s a three-day retreat designed to offer a mental, physical and spiritual reset, with activities including pilates, sunrise yoga, water shiatsu and sound baths.
Djokovic was in the middle of his most recent run at Wimbledon, preparing for a match the next morning, and still took the time to explain the innumerable ways he optimizes each and every detail of his daily routine for improved performance. He included shiatsu in the program, for instance, in part because the ratio of water in our bodies aligns with the ratio of water on the planet.
You think this guy wouldn’t approve of a Kohler smart toilet, too? It would be a crucial aspect of what he refers to as the daily hygiene one pursues to take care of his or her well-being. In other words, you bet your well-cleaned ass, he would.
The Most Underrated Travel Joys in the World
Take it from me: these brilliant, unexpected little travel moments of zen can make your dayThe Ubiquitous White Bubble Plates
You know the ones. I’m sure you do. The ones with the textured white bubble pattern. There’s, like, a few large bubble indentations in a field of smaller ones. The bowls and plates are deep-set, offering instantaneous and on-demand, Michelin-starred chef in training plating. Apparently everyone in charge of opening a fine dining restaurant over the past four years saw the same set of Bernardaud Ecume plateware and was sent reeling into a covetous rage. “It will be mine,” every restaurant GM on the planet said in unison. “Oh yes, it will be mine.”
Whoever was in charge of marketing these Bernardaud bad boys deserves a plaque on the wall. Forget salesman of the month. How about of the decade? The French porcelain manufacturer describes these plates as “perfectly adapted for the needs of a fine dining establishment.” Cue the GMs guffawing in baffled astonishment. “Ecume is a contemporary porcelain engraving that brings a poetic, modern yet highly elegant touch to the table.” Drools.
The first time I saw them, I thought they were nice enough, unique even, for a quick moment before they caught fire. The next time I saw them, I joked with a dining companion, “That’s funny, I’m starting to see these things around. I’m more of a Ginori guy myself though, truth be told.” Then the third through 412th times after that transpired within about six more months. From novelty to coincidence to omnipresence in under a year. World domination.
What kind of dirt does Bernardaud have on the fine dining establishment? Who’s getting how much of a kickback, and for what?
The Hotel Cruiser Bike
Have you visited a resort recently that offers bikes to its guests to help them get around the property? Perhaps there are little weaving, sandy trails to peddle through on a casual jaunt to the beach from your room. Or maybe you ride them down a wooden boardwalk en route to your overwater villa.
Say hello to Priority Bicycles. These suckers are perfect for overfed, potentially intoxicated leisure travelers. You don’t have to work too hard, but you also can’t go too fast. Thick tires take you from pavement to dirt or sand with ease, and a wide-cushioned seat keeps your butt in the comfortable, Kohler-softened style it’s become accustomed to these days. As a charming bonus, it’s adorned with a basket for carrying your stuff down to the beach. It’s sturdy, it’s stylish, it’s easy to use, it’s Instagram-friendly.
I’ve seen them, off the top of my head, at resorts as far afield as Nujuma, The Ritz-Carlton Reserve in Saudi Arabia and at lauded Caribbean haunts such as Dorado Beach in Puerto Rico and Amanyara. (Hey Amanyara, are you on top of your trending hotel amenities, or what?)
If you have enough time on your hands to go down this rabbit hole, and I suppose I do, you’ll find that Priority has a whole section of its website devoted to hotel and hospitality industry case studies. And would you look at that, they’re in a number of city hotels as well, the type of boutiques that offer free bike rentals as a perk to guests.
Yup, I noticed them at the Arlo Midtown as well, didn’t I? See, even someone as dialed into the maddening minutiae of hotels thanks to living in them for the past five years still lets a fastball go sailing by down the middle of the plate every now and again. Sneaky. They’re everywhere.
Open your eyes, and you’ll start picking up on the same types of singular amenities and features that have now become recurring realities across the hotel sphere. That creative touch you thought the mom-and-pop operators of the whimsical little inn you “found on a hunch” (i.e., Google, but didn’t dare say that to your girlfriend) somehow manifested all on their own? Yeah, they probably saw it at the Four Seasons they vacationed at last summer. One minute you’re enjoying a well-cooked, crispy-skinned piece of salmon floating in a lake of vibrant, herbaceous green sauce. The next minute you’re staring at a white bubble plate you can never unsee or not notice ever again.
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