Status Update

Status Update

Status Update

By The Editors

As he ages, the Bay Area man faces a challenge.

As he builds a career, as he invests in startups and, like, banana futures, as he competes to earn the attention of women and envy of friends, he simply has to find more refined ways to say “Neener, neener, neener.”

These are those ways: Look at All My Sh*t! SF Status Symbols, Ranked.

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These are symbols only San Franciscans understand.

Got equity?

Had an exit?

Does the Sightglass barista know your name?

Each of those symbols is in the rankings.

Don’t get us wrong. We’re not advocating pure, unadulterated, Trump-esque greed. Well, maybe just a hair.

But as far as your humble correspondents go, we’re plenty happy just getting our run in the carpool lane.

Enjoy the guide.

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