Tao You Doin?

Here’s to the gastro-lounge:

Loud. Flashy. A disco-y dalliance of amuse-bouches and boobs that – while at times obnoxious – is an essential tool in every New York man’s evening-out repertoire.

The latest: Tao Downtown, the new 300+ seat, Yeezus-approved grotto of opulence that hosts every leggy Debby in New York.

This is where you’ll want to take your clients, a date or your thick-walleted friends for an evening out.

Here’s where you should park yourself based on occasion:

You’re With: A date
Request: The back corner of the sushi bar

An overlooked romantic gem – curved to prevent the awkward side-by-side, and tucked away from the main dining floor din to facilitate canoodling. Plus, watch the chefs deftly prepare tuna sashimi with parmesan.

You’re With: Clients
Request: One of the Buddha tables

Tao’s centerpiece is a gargantuan multi-armed stone Buddha, flanked by two secluded tables on raised platforms overlooking the main floor. Ultimate power-move seating: check.

You’re With: A big group
Request: A skybox

Above the main dining floor are two private “skyboxes” big enough to accommodate 15-20. Awesome views of the action below and curtains if you need more privacy – or are Leonardo Dicaprio.

Happy dining.

Want to see what delectable Asian goodness Tao’s menu has in store? Step right this way.