Is obsessing over travel unattractive? Could it turn you off a potential partner — especially a woman?
That was the gist of a thread I stumbled on during one of my morning Reddit deep dives this week. The post is a year old, but the topic has been popping up again recently on Quora, which makes you wonder…what the fuck? In full, the Reddit post reads:
“The current obsession with traveling is one of the most unattractive — and frankly, red flag worthy — traits in dating, especially in women. When ‘loves to travel’ dominates someone’s personality, it often signals escapism and a lack of long-term stability. Sure, vacations and cultural exploration can be enriching, but when travel becomes their defining feature, it raises questions about their ability to commit to a person, a place or even a purpose.
It can also reflect a desire for the glamorous, Instagrammable lifestyle rather than genuine depth or ambition. Plus, let’s be honest: constant travel is expensive, and if they’re not footing the bill, someone else likely is.
The fixation on travel isn’t just superficial — it might also indicate a tendency to avoid the realities of life in favor of chasing fleeting highs. A relationship requires grounding, and someone always in search of their next destination might never truly be present where it matters.”
The comments, as you might imagine, were a mixed bag. To be fair, there is nuance here. People who are perpetually chasing the perfect Instagram shot often hide behind the guise of loving travel. And yes, the kinds of trips someone takes can tell you something about them. If someone does an annual Ibiza blowout with their friends, you may be able to glean a bit about their priorities — which may or may not align with yours. That’s fine.
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But to claim there are more red flags than positives in a person’s travel habits? I’d argue the opposite.
Research shows that travel boosts creativity, broadens global awareness and strengthens critical thinking skills, namely problem solving and time management, and signals curiosity — an unambiguous green flag. And the benefits aren’t just psychological. Travel has real physical health benefits, too. One long-running study found that women who vacationed every six years or less had a significantly higher risk of heart attack or coronary death than women who traveled at least twice a year. If you care about your partner’s wellbeing, that’s a point for travel, not against it.
Another issue in the original post: the idea that frequent travel is somehow a bigger red flag in women than in men. The implication is that all women who travel often must be financially reliant on someone else — or have certain expectations around who will pay for what — which is categorically untrue. You know what is unattractive, though? Building your dating philosophy around “she probably didn’t pay for that trip.”
And as for the accusation of “escaping reality for fleeting highs”? Look around! Things are less than stellar, and we all have to take our highs, however fleeting, where we can get them. If that comes in the form of a weekend away every so often, so be it. Taking breaks from reality is healthy — necessary, even — and knowing when you need one shows a level of self-awareness I happen to find particularly attractive.
Travel doesn’t make someone unserious or ungrounded. If anything, it often makes them more present, thoughtful and open — exactly the traits most people claim to want in a partner. Women included.
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