Management: Stern but fair. Unfortunate amount of turnover.
Reputation: Known for regionally specific biz practices. Trouble remaining competitive in current market landscape.
Perks: Pets welcome. Handicap friendly.
Drawbacks: Dying business.
You are: The New York Times. Or Dunder-Mifflin.
Management: Family business. Patriarchal. Lacking in gender equality.
Reputation: Egregious and irresponsible spending.
Perks: Amenable to office relationships.
Drawbacks: Not sensitive to employees with special needs.
You are: Goldman Sachs
Management: Scattered. In need of clear leader.
Reputation: Dickless. Wet behind the ears. Don’t really make anything.
Perks: Succinct, easy-to-follow mission statement. No lack of water coolers.
Drawbacks: Anti-manufacturing policies make partnerships and/or takeovers necessary.
You are: Working for the U.S. government, circa whenever.
Management: Sleeping their way to the top.
Reputation: Sleeping your way to the top.
Perks: Prime office location.
Drawback: Your new business partner is a young and inexperienced mama’s boy.
You are: A well-funded Internet start-up
Management: Ruthless. Can’t really trust ‘em.
Reputation: Up and coming, but with examples of questionable nepotism.
Perks: Kind of an anything-goes culture.
Drawbacks: Emasculating HR punishment.
You are: Apple (Steve Jobs's tenure)
Management: Elderly. Ornery. Also exceedingly duplicitous.
Reputation: Harem of young assistants, total control of strategically important pipeline.
Perks: Office hook-ups encouraged.
Drawbacks: Bloody awful office parties.
You are: OPEC
Reputation: Known for hostile takeovers, generally being hostile, and hostility. Also smart, but in a hostile kind of way.
Perks: Casual office dress. Dragons.
Drawback: Staffed primarily by temps.
You are: Yahoo!
Management: Stern. Not much fun at parties.
Reputation: Staffed mainly by criminals. Dealing in antiquated product no one really believes in. You do important work, but nobody really likes you.
Perks: Job for life. Cool elevator.
Drawbacks: Hostile location.
You are: The IRS