16 Women on the Halloween Costumes Men Should (and Shouldn't) Wear

Do you want to win the costume contest? Or get a number?

By Alex Lauer

 
16 Women on the Halloween Costumes Men Should (and Shouldn't) Wear
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24 October 2018

Sexy Pizza Rat. Sexy Poop Emoji. Sexy Handmaid’s Tale.

Every Halloween, we are once again reminded that anything — animals, ideograms, symbols of oppression, an-y-thing! — can be eroticized when it comes to women’s costumes. (This is not an endorsement, mind you, merely a statement of fact.)

But have you ever stopped to think, which men’s costumes do women find sexy?

We spoke with 16 ladies to find out. Below, their thoughts on what exactly constitutes a “sexy” costume for men, as well as the number-one thing you should never, under any circumstances, festoon yourself in.

While you may not go home with first place in the costume contest, you might just hit it off with Sexy Poop Emoji.

Screenshot: Friends

What's the ultimate "sexy" Halloween costume for a guy?

“I think the ultimate ‘sexy’ guy costume needs to have some skin. Basically all sexy women costumes are just normal occupations with less clothing, so why shouldn’t men have to do the same?” — Maggie, Editor

“Recently I saw a guy dressed as The Rock fanny-pack meme and thought that was freaking hilarious. But traditionally speaking, if you're a dude and going for a sexy costume, you can basically choose any Tom Cruise movie ever, be it Top Gun or Risky Business, and you'll be all set.” — Alexis W., PR

“One of the cutest low-key costumes I saw was Dexter. Every guy looks cute in a henley. Add a slight edge of danger with the latex gloves and saran wrap? Low effort, still clever. A+.” — Margaret, Art Director

“Last year, my boyfriend draped himself in blue velvet from head to toe in a homemade Sesame Street Yip Yip costume, and I thought he was the sexiest man in the room. Goofballs are babes. Also seen the ‘single dad’ equipped with Baby Bjorn and beard costume which was pretty sexy. Piers Morgan had it all wrong.— Lynnea, Production Designer

“I guess traditionally would be blue collar-type costumes (cop, firefighter). But I prefer more pop culturally relevant costumes — e.g., Jon Snow. That said, it's important to play up best assets. Who needs a shirt when you have a six pack?” — Alexis, PR

“Superheroes. Men in uniform like police, fireman, ship captain; but they have to be the classic outfits and not the ones trying hard to be sexy. I think a lot of women find that sexy because those occupations are viewed as strong and dependable. Also I personally like punny costumes … I find funny sexy.” — Kate, Administrative Assistant

“The uglier and funnier the Halloween costume, the sexier it is. Dudes who take Halloween too seriously and try to make themselves look good in the process are a total turnoff. I'd rather see a guy go all-in on dressing as Old Gregg and totally own it than try to emulate some mindless Channing Tatum character.” — Charlotte, Marketing

“Any variation of a cop, pilot, firefighter and any costume from Magic Mike (especially Matt McConaughey as Dallas!). Also, any smart or critical take on culture that communicates intelligence and originality, like The Most Interesting Man, but with a twist. Why are these sexy? I don't know, why are boobs good? They just are.” — Kennedy, Photographer

“Sexy lumberjack, anyone?! I'm a sucker for any men's costume that involves a mustache (homegrown, not stick-on), a nice suit or a healthy showing of chest hair.” — Megan, Filmmaker

“Sexy fireman. No connotations of police brutality and like … you’re gonna save the kittens. So.” — Elizabeth, Actor

“I think I will stick with the classic fireman costume — the costume itself is sexy but also conveys that they want to save lives (and puppies), definitely big turn-ons. Also, movie characters who are badass and treat women as equal humans/are kind to women, like Jon Snow (I mean that's just obvious) or Captain Von Trapp (who doesn't love a guy who is an officer in the Navy, stands up to Nazis and plays guitar?).” — Helen, Writer

“Anything that reminds me of my childhood fictional character crushes — Aladdin and other heroic princes. Apart from that, anything original that reveals something fun about his personality. For example, I once encountered guys dressed as the Blue Man Group at a Halloween party. But if you’re going to go for it, execute it well. Don’t be half-hearted. Commitment is sexy.” — Erika, Marketing

“The ultimate ‘sexy’ costume for a guy is something that he feels comfortable in. My husband wore a unicorn onesie last year for Halloween because I bought it and then we were matching for the party. Even though his entire body was covered in purple and white polar fleece, he looked ridiculous and happy! That is what I find sexy.” — Alison, Grad School Student

“The sexiest costumes have got to be men in suits. Be it a spy or a Clark Kent or a man from history. Dress up and you will look good.” — Diane, Ski Patrol

“Jon Snow is a pretty good option but I always love a man in a suit, so costume would maybe be Clark Kent.” — Melissa, Store Manager

“This year my boyfriend is being Wolverine and I thought that was a sexy idea because it’s something fun, manly and rugged, yet still an actual fictional character.” — Rachel, Marketing

Screenshot: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

What's a costume that a guy thought was sexy, but was off-putting?

“I think the most misguided ‘sexy’ costume may have been a guy I knew dressing as Humbert Humbert with another friend as Lolita. He had told me that he thought that book was ‘the most beautiful love story of our time.’ I’m pretty sure he missed the point.” — Maggie, Editor

“Some guys throw on a red robe, call themselves Hugh Hefner and think they've knocked the sexy look out of the park. Let's be more creative dudes!” — Alexis W., PR

“Saw a muscle-y dude in overalls and no shirt on underneath as some kind of sexy farmer. Not impressed, you look like a toddler.” — Margaret, Art Director

“Three words: Borat banana hammock.” — Lynnea, Production Designer

“Zero effort — just wearing an accessory.” — Alexis, PR

“The costumes that have a blow-up penis. I saw a handyman with a tool belt that had a fake penis in the front. Just awful.” — Kate, Administrative Assistant

“Any costume that involves wearing sunglasses at night. It's not cute and it makes you look like a total douche canoe.” — Charlotte, Marketing

“I once went to a party with a guy dressed as the Mad Hatter. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be funny or sexy, but it came across as neither. The voice, the hair, the makeup that ran as he got more drunk and couldn't stop sweating — nothing about that outfit made me want to leave the party with him.” — Kennedy, Photographer

“Patrick Bateman.” — Megan, Filmmaker

“Cowboy or Chippendales. Or anything ethnically specific. Because you either don’t have the physique or the understanding to pull that off.” — Elizabeth, Actor

“Guy who dressed as a flasher (long trench coat, very little underneath and he just walked around opening it at women, occasionally with something shoved in his boxers). Sexual misconduct is never funny. It’s wrong, disgusting and probably triggering for someone at that party.” — Helen, Writer

“Last Halloween I met a guy dressed as a vampire and three minutes into the conversation he told me he wanted to take me to Italy for ride on his Vespa. The fangs were creepy enough, and the forwardness was very offputting. I spent the rest of the night avoiding him. I don’t think I’ll ever look at another vampire the same way again.” — Erika, Marketing

“One of those all-green outfits that are way too revealing.” — Melissa, Store Manager

“Overtly sexual references make terrible Halloween costumes. I have no off-hand example, but any reference to your genitalia is not a good move.” — Diane, Ski Patrol

“A caveman costume. Nothing about that is sexy to me.” — Rachel, Marketing

Screenshot: The Office

What should guys, under no circumstances, wear on Halloween?

  • Blackface / Cultural appropriation / Anything racist: 8
  • Costume referencing sexual harassment: 6
  • Sexually explicit costume (i.e., fake penis): 4
  • No effort costume: 3
  • Banana hammock: 3
  • MAGA hat: 2
  • Kanye costume with a MAGA hat: 1

Answers may be condensed for length. Personal details may be changed. 
Main image: Screenshots of Game of ThronesAmerican Psycho and Magic Mike, and Kanye West via Twitter

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