Prospective castle owners know that — just like a five-bedroom triplex in TriBeCa with southern exposure and floor-to-ceiling windows — turnkey castles don't show up on the market every day. That means when they do, you gotta jump. Prepare to jump.
This is the Wachsenburg Castle in Thuringia, central Germany. It's nearly 1,100 years old, and a whopping 43,475 square feet, a volume parcelled out over 16 bedrooms and 20 bathrooms. There's also 35 parking spaces inside that curtain wall, so basically all your weekend guests can bring a plus one, and they can all drive by themselves.
Currently, the castle's under use as a museum, restaurant and hotel, with an average rating of 8.6 on booking.com ("The staff was so friendly and helpful, the room was super clean with great views, and the restaurant ambience was as great as the food.")
We say: Why not book in for a night? Check out the heating? Get a closer look at the plumbing? Try #castlelife on for size? The way things are going, a remote retreat (with battlements) in the deep heart of central Europe might be exactly what an ever more stressful world calls for.