We’ve heard enough about the Instant Pot and how it changed your life, thanks.
Today, we’re here to praise something a little different:
Thirteen awesome kitchen appliances you don’t need need, but definitely want, all of which can fit on your countertop.
Like an $800 pizza oven that’ll deliver a wood-fired pie in two minutes. A freezer that forges perfectly clear ice spheres for your cocktails.
Oh, and a bacon toaster.
For brick oven pizzas at home: Smart Oven Pizzaiolo
Dubbed the “world’s first indoor countertop pizza oven,” the Pizzaiolo heats up to 750 degrees and cooks a Neapolitan pie in two minutes. Features seven temperature/pizza style presets (you can hack the settings if you’re a pro) and a “Darkness” knob to control the leopard spotting on the crust. And it’s $800, or about one-tenth the price of buying an industrial model ... at one-tenth the size.
For looks (small appliance division): Bruno Toaster Grill
The Japanese offspring of a George Foreman and a toaster oven, the tabletop Bruno is a great option for anyone lacking for counter space (read: New York and San Francisco apartments). But let's be honest: we've mostly cottoned to this brave little appliance for its modish midcentury looks. If you own (or covet, but cannot afford) a Smeg refrigerator, Bruno will complement it perfectly.
For looks (large appliance division): The Matte Collection by Cafe
Traditional but high-end stoves, fridges, dishwashers, etc. that you can customize and personalize with different hardware finishes — brushed copper, bronze, black or stainless.
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For set-it-and-forget it versatility: Tasty One Top
Yes, it’s a kitchen appliance via BuzzFeed. It’s also a Bluetooth-enabled tableside deep fryer/sous vide device/slow cooker that pretty does all the work for you, working with recipes from the Tasty app.
For quick and calibrated healthy meals: Brava
Dubbed “the world’s fastest oven,” Brava is a countertop stove that runs on something called Pure Light Cooking (essentially cooking in infrared). The oven that can reach 500 degrees in a second, and with six individual lamps inside, it can control the temp and cook all the different parts of your meal simultaneously. Seriously, you can cook your protein, side dish and veggies all at once, and the on-board monitors and built-in temperature probe will keep each component at the perfect temperature.
For home brewing: Pico Model C
While the more advanced Pico U, aka the “Instant Pot of [all] brewed beverages,” has been postponed, the Pico Model C still offers homebrewers a simple countertop solution.
For perfect cocktail ice: Forge
An ice system (launching soon) that creates perfectly clear, carve-able ice in hours. Besides the ooh-ahh fun of crafting amazing looking ice globes, you’ll also have ice with no impurities that doesn’t quickly melt and water down your drink.
For quick washes: Tetra
A compact dishwasher that requires no plumbing. Once connected to a standard electrical outlet, the portable dishwasher uses graphic electrodes in one compartment to heat the tap water that’s been loaded into another. A third compartment houses the grey water and detergent you use during the wash cycle — all controlled via an app. (Coming late 2018)
For dry-aging meat: Kingsford SteakAger
Dry age your butcher-bought beef and enjoy steakhouse-quality eats in 14-70 days. Available in standalone units or smaller additions that’ll fit in your fridge.
For grilling that dry-aged meat: Beefer
Horrible name aside, Beefer is an ingenious gas-powered countertop grill that promises ridiculously quick and “searious” results for your steaks. Reaching temps up to 1,500 degrees Fahrenheit, the Beefer gets more than twice as hot as a typical gas or charcoal grill. Because that heat arrives from a top-mounted ceramic burner, your steak will caramelize in seconds with no flavor loss, as the juice and fat won’t drain into the grill’s flames.
For strange coffee combos: Chefman RJ14-BUZZ
It’s a narrow, one-button, one-cup coffee maker that takes K-Cups or your own grounds — so it’s versatile. And you can soundtrack your mornings, because it’s also, inexplicably, a Bluetooth speaker.
For simple cocktails: Barsys
A robotic bartender that fits on your (large) countertop. Stocked with five base spirits and three mixers, the device quickly and efficiently mixes a variety of mixed cocktails. More a conversation starter than anything (see our full review here).
For bacon: Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill
It’s a bacon toaster, adjustable to your desired crispness — and the vertical design means it drains away all the fat.
Additional reporting by Evan Bleier and Walker Loetscher
Photos: Breville; Amazon; GE Appliancds; Brava; PicoBrew; Heatworks; Kingsford; Beefer; Amazon; Barsys; Nostalgia Products