Look, things are already dangerous in Texas this week. But starting September 1st, it’ll be our fault, not Ma Nature’s.
On the first day of the month, adults in the Lone Star state will be allowed to openly carry knives with blades longer than 5.5 inches.
So, essentially, swords. And machetes, spears, etc. It’s like cosplay gone wrong, and, yes, there are exceptions: long-ass blades won’t be allowed in schools, bars or hospitals, so everything is fine.
Taking advantage of this new Game of Thrones-esque scenario: Bryan Wilson, self-proclaimed Texas Law Hawk, internationally recognized as “the loudest lawyer in America” and creator of some truly insane viral videos.
In his latest PSA (co-sponsored by the Texas outdoor equipment retailer Cheaper Than Dirt), Wilson announces/war-cries that it’s #texasswordday. From there, the lawyer lays out the new ground rules: it’s now OK to use swords in everyday life, whether it’s fishing, walking the dog or car repair. Just don’t take them into schools, because that’s still a felony.
“It’s not about scaring people,” says Wilson. “It’s about freedom.”
For what it’s worth, Wilson’s MO is decidedly tongue-in-cheek. His commercials on YouTube rack up millions of views, he’s starred in ads for Taco Bell that aired during the Super Bowl, and his stance on personal safety is objectionable: witness his willingness to attach thousands of fireworks to his chest for a safety PSA.
In better news announced by Wilson, September 1st also marks the first day in Texas you can’t text and drive.
Because safety first.
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