A Backpack With a Sub-Woofer Is the Last Thing You Need in Nature

Ah, good ol' peace and UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ

May 22, 2017 9:00 am

BaseRock is a new company aiming to make a hydration pack with a built-in subwoofer in its frame, allowing wearers to “physically feel music by vibrating the bass frequencies throughout their bodies.” 

On the surface, such a pack could prove useful at, say, a music festival.

But good taste notwithstanding, there are several problems with this.

First, it strikes to the core of what’s wrong with our growing population: everyone thinks they’re the center of the universe. Just because you can’t hear or feel the music doesn’t give you the right to intrude on those around you. The mark of an intelligent gentleman is being considerate of others.

Second, the same cretin that brings one of these to a show is likely the same subhuman who brings one into the woods. Doing this will annoy other folks in search of nature’s solace, and it’ll actually harm the ecosystem in a way that’ll damage society’s ability to grow food.

So if you see BaseRock’s Kickstarter launch on June 13th, save your money for concert seats. Then go for a hike and enjoy the soothing sounds of nature.

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