The modern man knows that the best way to ensure his own pleasure is to give it in equal measure to his partner.
Which begs a question men have been asking since time immemorial: How the bleep do I do that?
You could simply ask ... or you could read a recent study that asked 1,055 women of various ages and backgrounds a similarly simple question: What feels good to you?
Published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy under “Women’s Sexual Experience With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94,” the study is the first of its kind and long overdue (perhaps explaining the prodigious title).
Here are three takeaways.
1. Don’t rush ... but don't be a marathon man, either
Fewer than one in five women find that longer sex leads to better sex. Of course, this contradicts another finding that found that 73.6% of respondents prefer not to be rushed. Moral of the story: take your time and focus on technique. Like a long walk in the woods, it's about the journey, not the destination.
2. Find your rhythm and apply varying pressure to the clitoris
First off, if you're ignoring the clitoris altogether, you are unequivocally doing it wrong. Three out of four women say they need clitoral stimulation, and want medium to light pressure when it arrives. Some respondents like circular motions, though most prefer an up and down stroke, whether you're using your fingers, tongue or something extracurricular.
3. Communication is your friend
This should come as a no-brainer, and yet too few of us acutally do it: just ask her what she enjoys. And ask her to proactively let you know when something feels good — it's sexier focus on the positive than what's not working.