As George Carlin pointed out in 2001’s Complaints and Grievances, “Here's something you never hear a man say: ‘Stop sucking my d**k, or I'll call the police.’”
Perhaps so. But for a 90-year-old Cape Cod man, apparently calling cops afterward is perfectly reasonable.
Nicholas Salerno of Dennis Port, MA, was arrested for solicitation after he contacted police and reported that a prostitute had stolen a 14-inch gold chain from him, according to court documents.
When the responding officer told Salerno he'd be charged with a crime for paying the woman $100 for oral sex, the elderly gent replied, “I don’t give a f**k. I’m 90 years old for Christ’s sake.”
After the report was filed, police were able to find a chain matching the description of Salerno's missing item at a local pawn shop and the woman was charged with larceny and prostitution.
During arraignments, both parties pleaded not guilty and Salerno's charges were dropped.
Sometimes, the system works.