Nordstrom Is Now Selling Rocks, for Reasons Unclear to the Proletariat

Maybe it's that totally unnecessary leather carrying case?

By Diane Rommel

 
Share This

06 December 2016

How stupid are you? 

Nordstrom has a test available. Check it out right here

Forget world capitals or the molecular weight of air. This one's easy. A Yes/No.

Would you, or would you not, buy a rock for $85? 

Now, we know what you're thinking: trick question. 

Maybe you're thinking diamonds are rocks. (They're not. They're minerals.) Maybe you're thinking, "Well, this 70-pound amethyst retails for around $1,400, so if I got it for 85 bucks at Nordstrom, I'm coming out way ahead." (Amethysts: also minerals.) The Nordstrom deal isn't for a mineral. It's for a rock. 

Rocks from the moon are pretty expensive. Here's one for $36,000.

Nordstrom's rock isn't from the moon, though. It's from someone's backyard in L.A.

"A paperweight? A conversation piece? A work of art?" Nordstrom asks, in its description of the $85 "Made Solid Medium Leather Wrapped Stone."

It's definitely #1. Absolutely #2 (Conservation sample: "Wait, you paid for that?"). It's not #3, unless this is Made Solid's conceptual project investigating the corruption of American consumerism. We didn't mention the "contrast whipstitching" on the "rich, vegetable-tanned American leather" holder, featuring "a beautiful ombré effect." 

That said, if this is sounding like a good deal to you, we have a rock from our backyard we would love to sell you for a market-cornering $80. Please be in touch. 

Share This