No One Anywhere Has Ever Needed an Artisanal Roasting Twig

What's next, ready-made s'mores?

By Evan Bleier

 
No One Anywhere Has Ever Needed an Artisanal Roasting Twig
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27 July 2017

Besides marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers, there’s another crucial ingredient you need to have on hand to make the ideal fire-roasted s'more: the perfect stick. Thin, multi-pronged and long enough to ensure your arms hairs don’t get singed, the right s’more stick can be found almost anywhere there are trees — as long as you’re willing to look.

If you’re not, as the manufacturers of the very silly Marshmallow Twig Roaster apparently aren't, then we think you need to re-evaluate some things. 

Designed to let you prep a s’more without taking 30 seconds to do what humans have been doing for decades and find a stick in the woods like a normal person who hasn’t been completely jaded by the trappings of the material world, the Twig Roaster is a fresh take on a wood stick.

Once again, to reiterate, that would be a fresh take on a frickin’ wooden stick.

Twig Roaster (4 images)

Forty inches long and eight inches across, the Twig Roaster is made from steel, washable by hand and represents so much about what is wrong in the world.

Thinking about buying one? Make the generations of s’more fans who’ve come before you happy and don’t.

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