“Imagine carrying coffee in one hand, your cell phone in the other, while your luggage follows behind you,” proposes pilot Robert Lian, explorer of skies, expander of minds and inventor of the My Hitch hands-free luggage system.
Now imagine someone grabs that cell phone and runs off. You give chase. Your luggage follows violently before tripping you up. Just when the Benny Hill theme song was getting to the good part, too.
Or, imagine your new butt-hand works to perfection, seamlessly connecting bags to pants like a streamlined Samsonite caravan of efficiency. Just as Bob envisioned, you easily make 180s, 360s and sometimes 720s just to impress the kids.
But butt-to-hand hubris becomes your undoing.
One day, to your great misfortune, you opt for an elastic waistband. As you round that last corner before your gate a smidgen too sharp, your luggage catches. Pants acquiesce. You not only fall ass-out in front of everyone joining you on a plane for the next two hours, but your loved one on the phone heaers it happen and you now have coffee all over you.
Just tow your luggage with your hand, man.