If You Buy Just One Smart Device, Make It This One

Are you sitting down?

By Kirk Miller

 
Toilet
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17 October 2016

Does the world really need an “intelligent toilet”?

Actually, it’s not a crappy idea.

Kohler — the Wisconsin manufacturer that operates under the motto “gracious living" — sells a line of toilets that are smart as hell

“It’s easy to take your toilet for granted,” the company suggests on its product page. “But we think toilets play an important role in your bathroom.”

Well, yeah.

While the concept of intelligent toilets is old news in Japan, it’s a new phenomenon here. Kohler claims smart crapper sales — not their exact words — have risen 50 percent in the last year.

These design-forward, elongated toilets feature self-cleaning wands, bidets with adjustable water pressure and temperature, UV sanitation, nightlights, heated seats and automatic deodorization.

If you want to go extremely high-end (or is that low-end?), Kohler’s Numi line features all the above amenities but adds ambient lighting, foot warming, Bluetooth streaming, built-in speakers and a battery-operated backup flush.

That pampering is $6338.50, by the way.

Our take? Some of these features would be extremely useful for public restrooms, especially the sanitation tech.

But look at this way — you spend 1.5 years of your life in the bathroom, and the equivalent of three months on the toilet. It’s where you do your best thinking. And, not for nothing, bidets in general help the environment.

Given how much you spend on furniture or technology that you barely use, it's time to put some capital into something you use (and need) every day.

We sh*t you not.

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