When they told us bacon causes cancer, we nodded our heads and thought “that makes sense.”
After they labeled our best friends “selfish,” we buttoned up our lips and took it like men.
But now that the eggheads are coming after our beer, we can no longer remain silent and sit idly by.
According to a study in The Lancet’s Gastroenterology & Hepatology Journal (a sensationalist rag doctors read on the crapper), reducing the amount of alcohol in beer is a good idea. For real.
"The idea is a small reduction in alcohol — such as beer with four per cent ethanol content vs. six per cent — would reduce alcohol intake per drinker even if the same overall amount of beverage is consumed," says Toronto-based doctor and study lead author Jürgen Rehm (below).
We get it. Dr. Rehm wants to prevent drunk driving accidents, alcohol-related chronic diseases and so on. And his suggestion makes perfect sense, if you assume that we're all a bunch of idiots who will happily drink a few watered-down beers and traipse merrily home to watch The Bachelor, safe and sound and in full command of our senses.
It doesn't work that way, doc.
Essentially, what this guy is advocating is Prohibition on the sly — a teetotaler's version of the boiling frog story, but we're the frog and instead of being slowly cooked to death we're being bored to tears by the good doctor's coercive moderation.
We’d just like to point out Dr. Rehm lives in a city that elected a mayor whose crack smoking made Marion Barry look like a Boy Scout … Can his judgement really be trusted?
Dr. Rehm, keep your paws and your beady little eyes off our brew. Your sneaky and radical schemes have no place in a civilized society. Good day, sir.