If you’re anything like us, you wake up every day with a crazed look in your eye and a single-minded mission:
Find. Delicious. Caffeine. Stat.
Now, you can find that caffeine at the bottom of a Mr. Coffee. But it won’t be delicious. And you can find it down the block from your local La Marzocco operator. But it won’t be stat.
These five coffeemakers bring all the above — along with a heavy dose of “f***, that’s thing cool” — to your countertop.
The Steampunk by Alpha Dominche
Coffee’s dystopian future. Although it looks like it belongs in a Victorian laboratory, this Android tablet-controlled brew station is distinctly 21st century. Individual recipes for temperature, pressure and agitation have made the Steampunk a go-to for tinkering baristas. Given the $15,000-and-up price tag, buying one of these for home use might be considered mad genius.
The Diva by Casa Bugatti
This 24-karat gold-plated steamer isn’t related to the car company of the same name, but it might as well be. Bugatti’s website does not list a price, which probably means it falls under the category of “If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.”
The Barisieur by Josh Renouf
If this coffeemaker is just a gimmick, it’s one we’re happy to oblige. British designer Josh Renouf’s Barisieur wakes you up to burbling water and that fresh coffee smell. Although not on the market just yet, the glass- and wood-paneled alarm clock coffeemaker is expected to retail for around $350.
The Cold Drip Tower by Yama
A carved wooden frame belies this machine’s simple practicality. Ice water drips from the top chamber at a rate of about one drip per second. The cold water slowly infuses the coffee grounds and drips into the final collection chamber. The result: six to eight cups of cold-brewed, iced coffee.
The Phoenix70 by Saint Anthony Industries
If the Steampunk is a harbinger for a dystopian future, the Phoenix70 ($80) and its space-age-y simplicity is its utopian converse. Just add a filter, coffee grounds and hot water, and place the device on top of any drinking vessel. Wait three to five minutes for a well-brewed cup.
Words by Isaac Blasenstein