It's awesome being an American in France.
The locals? They probably think you are dumb as dirt.
No, no, you say. I can read without moving my lips. I can even read without speaking the words aloud. They won't believe you. And you'll show them, and they'll say, Well, maybe you are not the dumbest of them. And you'll talk about the cotton gin, and Ernest Hemingway, and Jonas Salk, and say, You sure didn't mind when we fixed polio! And they'll say, Well, maybe ...
And then a 30-year-old American surfer in a pink bikini will walk by carrying a pink surfboard, and then she will surf through the Parisian catacombs — the final resting place of millions of people. Like, she'll literally walk over the bones of the deceased. And then surf on them.
And then you'll say ... I give up.
Photos via Facebook