The apocalypse is not — necessarily — nigh.
But when the people in power go with their proverbial gut over, say, incontrovertible scientific facts, the four horsemen could round the corner any day.
What will you do when they arrive?
We can't all put down $25K to secure a private luxury bunker. We can, however, make like Boy Scouts and be prepared.
Henceforth: your 2017 go-bag, packed with 10 essential survival items, including the bag in which to pack it all.
1. IWC DaVinci Perpetual Calendar Chronograph Automatic $14,999 (down from $24K)
Data and cell service will be among the first things to go, so you'll need a better watch. This DaVinci model from Switzerland’s IWC shows the date, day of the week, month, year and even the moon phases. It's exhaustive, but when the sky clouds over, you'll need it to stay sane.
2. Baubax Travel Jacket ($40-55 off)
In 2015, Baubax raised over $9 million on Kickstarter for “The World’s Best Travel Jacket.” It’s got a built-in eye mask, neck pillow, gloves and pockets galore.
And now it's on sale.
3. T3 Tactical Auto Rescue Tool $24.99 (down from $40)
Designed by a paramedic in NYC (a city synonymous with apocalypses, at least in fiction), this tool comes with a serrated blade, seat belt cutter, window punch and LED. Repurpose as needed.
4. FiberFix Modern Man Kit $83.99 (down from $144)
When your car, truck or tractor breaks down, you’ll need as much FiberFix as possible. Never heard of it? Just watch the most convincing commercial we’ve ever seen.
5. SunJack LightStick Powerbank $39.99 (down from $45)
One charge gets this waterproof light 46 hours of life-saving illumination. Or stick a USB cord in the end and charge any device that still works. Then charge it up again with a folding solar panel.
6. SunJack Solar Charger $119.99 (down from $150)
Need more solar power? These SunJack chargers come with more panels as well as batteries you can fill up for extra power when the sun goes down (or the smog rolls in).
7. Blue Ridge Camping Hammock $129.99 (down from $170)
You’re not going to want to sleep on the ground when the frogs come, and you’re going to need a bug net for the locusts, so pack a hammock tent. The stability system here offers back support, so you can wake up refreshed and ready for another day of searching for signs of humanity.
8. Holdall Bag $149 (down from $199)
This waterproof duffel is small enough to carry for days on end and includes a wet/dry bag, because wet socks don't pair well with dry goods, which is what you'll be eating from now until Judgment Day.
9. Rumpl Down Puffy Lite Blanket $169.99 (down from $200)
A classic duck down blanket that packs down to the size of a water bottle.
10. The Ultimate Auto Winter Kit $79.99 (down from $99)
This kind of kit is essential for doomsday road trips. Includes instant heat pads, a portable shovel, tire grip track and a first aid kit (because you probably shouldn’t put FiberFix on wounds).